Some Say the World Will End in Fire |l.s.|

thirteen

"We've noticed you haven't made much progress in the group therapy sessions," the psychiatrist, Mary, tells me as mum sits in her chair, looking at me sadly. "It's come to our attention that you've had vivid flashbacks and nightmares, is this true?"

"Yes," I say quietly, not looking her or my mother in the eyes as I do so.

"Typically with these types of symptoms, we like to prescribe Prazosin which helps a lot with high blood pressure, so your anxiety levels should reduce. Take these with every meal and don't have more than three per day. It would also be beneficial if you continued with your therapy sessions, and we'll see if there's any progress next month," she smiles professionally.

"Thank you so much," mum says. "We're hoping to see more of his old self back."

"Of course," Mary nods. We leave and the drive home is full of mum ranting about how good this will be for me and how I'll feel fantastic once the effects start kicking in. I tune her out, unhappy to be such a problem that I have to take drugs to stop it all.

Days pass before it is Harry's first day back at school in like the entire school year. Everyone stares at him and whispers as we walk inside, them all knowing that Harry and school are never in the same sentence. The eyes make me feel uneasy, and honestly a bit angry, but he just squeezes my hand tighter and keeps his eyes ahead.

We get to our first class, Harry in it after telling the counselor the only way he will show up to school is if he can be in class with me. She agreed, so long as he actually tries in the class, and I expected that to be a deal breaker but he agreed easily. It warms my heart, knowing how much he is willing to do for me. He sits down in the seat Anthony used to sit in, and I shudder at the thought. The teacher looks at Harry judgmentally the entire class, expecting him to cause trouble or some shit, but he's never really distracted others, he's just never really cared about school much to try.

We make it to the worst class of the day, and my hands are sweating as they squeeze his. 

"This is the class?" he asks, referring to the one it all happened. I just swallow hard, nodding my head as I reluctantly walk in. He looks around, and I notice his eyes stop as he looks at something. It's the plant, the one I hid behind, and he just looks at me again before we sit down. During the class, I can't seem to stop bouncing my leg as I continuously shift, fidgeting with the strings on my hoodie or biting my nails. I count the minutes and my heart is hammering and I jump as the bell rings. 

Harry jumps up from his seat, wrapping an arm tightly around me as he takes me outside. We walk for a while before we make it to my house and he takes me upstairs immediately.

"You alright?" he asks finally, worry evident in his eyes.

"M'alright," I shrug.

"Shit, I didn't know it was that bad, babe," he says sadly.

"It's okay, Haz," I say. "It's only an hour."

"Did you take your medicine today?" he asks. I nod, and he just cuddles me close to him.

"I made it through the whole class for like the first time," I explain.

"So proud of you," he says, kissing me before holding me close to his chest again.

"I'm proud of you, too," I say, referring to him going to school after so long. I think that me and Harry being together is the best thing we can do for ourselves. Maybe it will be okay, after all.