Some Say the World Will End in Fire |l.s.|

twenty four

Opening my eyes, I realize I must've been napping. I don't remember falling asleep, but I can tell by the way there are indents in my arms and hands that it was for a while. I groggily sit up, rubbing the sleep from my eyes as I look around my silent room. It's dark out, so I figure I fell asleep after school and it's now around dinner time.

Getting out of bed, I stretch my limbs, hearing a satisfying pop. Shuffling over to the door, I reach for the handle. Turning it, I stop with the drop of my stomach and the click of a gun behind me. My grip on the handle falters, my breath coming out short as I freeze in my spot.

"You know what that is?" I hear Anthony's voice growl out from behind me. My eyes widen, filling with tears as I not, before he chuckles deeply. "Hands up, turn around. Slowly."

I obey, shakily putting my hands in the air as I turn slowly. My eyes are squeezed shut; I can't see it. Not the barrel of the gun, or his angry eyes. I've looked into those eyes too many times in my life already, and knowing what he's done, and knowing he'll do the same to me, sends a shiver down my spine.

"Look at me, Louis," he says sternly, frustration clear in his voice. I only squeeze them tighter shut, a few tears spilling out. "I said look at me!" he yells. I let out a choked sob, opening them and only feeling even more terror fill me as I look into his eyes. There's no pain in them, not even anger. This is far worse. There are sinister eyes staring back at me, and if it isn't joy filling them then it's no emotion at all.

"P-please don't," I beg.

"Pathetic," he says. "I haven't done anything and you're already begging me to spare you." He takes a step closer, and I take one back. He takes four large, quick steps, and I'm scurrying back until my back is up against the wall. His face is inches from mine, and I push my head further into the wall, even though I know it isn't getting me any further from him. "Don't act like you're the victim, Louis. You know this would never have happened had you just helped me. You knew, and you did nothing."

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry I-"

"You're not sorry!" he screams, hitting the butt of his gun against the wall. I flinch hard at the noise, more tears spilling from my eyes.

"I am!" I sob. "I swear, I tried!"

"If you tried, they'd all be alive!" he screams in my face, and I shake my head. I can't believe that I can't hear that, because I know it's true. It hurts, though, so bad. It hurts just bad enough to give me all the strength I can muster up to knee Anthony in the crotch. Groaning, the man hunches over, his gun dropping to his feet. I don't waste any time, running into my bathroom and locking the door behind me.

Adrenaline is rushing through me, my sobs and screams echoing through the bathroom. Nausea takes over, my stomach turning as I realize the seriousness of my situation. I rush to the toilet, choking and gagging as I spew up whatever I'd had for lunch into the toilet.

I don't know how many times I've thrown in that damn toilet to the sound of beating on the door before I stop at the sound of it unlocking. I shake my head, tears pooling down my face as I wait for it to open. I can't take this anymore, the amount of pain. If he wants to shoot me, I'll let him, I just can't stand the fear or the guilt.

The door opens and my heart sinks when I'm not immediately shot. I'm still here, in a pool of my own vomit and tears as I tremble in fear. It's not Anthony standing there, but my mum. She isn't alone, though, as Harry trails in right behind her. They're not the mum and Harry I know though. They've got gun shots in the middles of their heads, and anger plastered over their faces.

"Fuck, Louis," Harry yells. "What the fuck's going on?" he asks me. "You have no fucking right to cry after all the whining you've done! You're such a burden, you know? You spared your life in the expense of others, and now you're putting out all your burdens on us!" he yells.

"Haz, no," I shake my head. He was the only one who understood me, and now I suppose he's opened his eyes and taken me in for who I truly am.

"Wake up, Louis!" he screams, bending down so he's nealing in front of me. "Wake the fuck up and realize that it's all your fault! They're dead because of you! We're miserable, because of you! Wake up!" he screams.

"No, no, no!" I scream, hands covering my ears as I squeeze my eyes shut, not hearing anything over mine and his screams.

"Wake up! Fucking wake up!"

"No! Stop, no! No! I wannt die, just kill me, please! I wanna die!" I sob.

"You're weak, Louis! You can't even handle shit!"

"Please, kill me! Let me die! I wanna die! Please!

"Just wake up!"

"No!" I scream as loud as I can, finally letting out deep breaths as my eyes droop shut. I'm tired of fighting, I don't care, I just want to leave. I let sleep take me away from this, all of these horrible thoughts and feelings. Hoping it's not just sleep, but death, I drift off.