Some Say the World Will End in Fire |l.s.|

sixteen

I'm walking through the hallways when I feel a sudden wave of anxiety flow through me. I stop, my heart sinking to my stomach as chills run over my body. No, this can't happen again, not after five whole days without an attack. Harry had to stop in the bathroom and well, that's the only place I can think of to go to escape this crowd, this noise. I rush into the the quieter room, hearing running water from the sink, and I know it's Harry.

"Oh, hey Lou. I thought we were gonna meet again in class," he says in confusion.

"I'm just feeling out of it r-right now," I say slowly, taking a deep breath as I stumble over a word.

"Hey, just try to take it easy, alright?" he says softly, immediately coming to my side and hugging me. I nod as I hold on tight around his waste. "I'm right here with you, babe. No one else, just you and me, and we're so safe."

"I f-feel l-li-ike-"

"Shh, don't worry about explaining yourself, love. Just focus on breathing." We stay like that for a few minutes before my tight grip on him eases and he notices, releasing me and taking a look at me from head to toe. "Alright?"

"Yeah, thanks," I smile sadly.

"Of course. This isn't my first rodeo," he smiles softly at me, causing me to chuckle weakly. No, it isn't his first rodeo, and after attack after attack he still has to deal with it. "Let's get out of here, we'll take a day to ourselves since we've hardly got any classes left."

Walking out, I can't stop replaying what he said to me in my head. He's right, he's experienced this enough for it to become a normal occurrence, and he doesn't deserve that. He deserves someone who will make him happy, who will be able to care for him as much as he does them. I know he'd never leave me, but maybe that's just because he'd be a monster to leave me after something traumatic happens. He's too good of a person to do that, even if he's also too good of a person for me. Maybe if I took myself out of the picture, he'd have the all clear to be happy.

He'd certainly chase me if I leave, would do anything in his power to find me, but if some sort of... accident, were to occur, then-

"Lou," Harry says, breaking me out of my thoughts. "You alright? You spaced out there for a second," he asks with concern.

"Yeah, sorry, lost in thought," I shake my head, chuckling.

"Thoughts about..." he says, waiting for me to answer.

"How much I love you," I shrug, smiling halfheartedly as he grins brightly at me.

"Love you too, Louis, so much."

That night, he falls asleep before me in his room because her thinks I need to change my scenery up, even if it is just my bedroom to his. He says spending so much time in one place must bring me some anxiety once it's time to leave it. I just teased him for having his little psychological hypothesis, but he replied saying he really did think that was the case, and so here we are.

I can't help but feel guilty, yet again. He's tired of my room, practically begging to get out of there. Anyone else would keep him entertained, they'd be okay to go out in public places easily or to his room, and he wouldn't have to grow so tired and frustrated with the same old scene. But I suppose I'm just not enough to give him that right now.