It's Season Five of LITG, and you're the Main Character - until your ex shows up. In this version of events, MC is sweet, stable but fed up with BS. A fun, quick read for those who have been disappointed with S5.
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"What do you think, MC? Are you safe?"
Arlo's voice is sweet and thick, syrupy but not quite genuine. You smile back at her and can't help but roll your eyes.
"I don't know what to think," you reply.
You pause, glancing at your suitcase; you haven't quite fully unpacked, leaving a lot still organized. You anticipated getting comfortable, but you also anticipated a season of a fun game that didn't uproot the deepest trauma of a bad relationship. You packed outfits, dreamed of love interests, and chatted with the producers – and yet they served you Suresh.
The girls bustle, getting ready, offering you baubles and outfits, but you hesitate. You pick your own outfit, preferring to look cool rather than like a glammed-up Christmas decoration. You glance back at your reflection. You look tired, and this isn't fun anymore.
It could've been fun. You look around the dressing room, remembering it with fondness. Seasons of watching others come before you left you hopeful, and yet you've been dealt the oddest of cards – a Villa full of people who don't really like you that much, anyway.
"Do you want to risk getting overlooked?" Dana has the nerve to ask you, upon surveying your outfit.
You clench your jaw.
"Yes," you say. "I do."
You glance at your outfit. There isn't anything wrong with it, and while you can withstand some heat and drama, Dana's remark feels strangely off and critical. You blink at her, a little shocked that she could think to say that to your face.
Dana turns away. You're left, mouth slightly open, still in disbelief. What kind of friend says that? What kind of human? Surely the only person who would say that is programmed by a writer who has never met a real life 20-something.
They force the dress on you again. The gemstones brush against your arms, scratching at your delicate skin. It hurts a little.
"$20 and it's yours," Dana says breathily. "Pay me."
The entire situation is beyond odd. You rip the dress off forcefully, watching some crystals bounce from the dressing room floor. Out of the corner of your eye, you see Alfie chatting with Meera while Dana gives you a stern look.
They clearly want you to wear this dress that looks like an adornment for nails.
"I'm dressing how I feel comfortable," you say again, forcefully.
"They're only trying to lighten the mood," offers Kat, but you're not so sure anymore.
You and the girls leave the dressing room and head out to face the unpredictable drama of the recoupling. When you arrive, the boys wait, standing, dressed to impress each other just as much as you.
The girls approach from the garden. Kat walks ahead of the rest, chin tilted upward. Dana glances at you before she hurries ahead. Arlo ignores you and Meera glances at you, sympathetically, before stepping in front of you. You're last.
A phone pings.
Eddie chooses Dana after a long-winded speech about their connection, which is extraordinary news to you...
Finn chooses Kat, predictably.
Suresh chooses Arlo. He glances at you and you truly, truly could not care less. Arlo seems haughty, which is strange, because you barely know one another and Suresh is not a prize to be won, but a human being.
You start to think about what you'll do first when you go home.
Home. It's a sweet place, a comfortable place. It hasn't always been perfect, but it's a place where you feel like you can be yourself – a place where your friends and family value you, uplift you. Sure, the dating pool had a bit of algae in it, but the pond surely widens once you've been on television, no?
It's left to Alfie who, despite being sweet and kind, is still sort of just a sadder, less funny and less successful version of Bobby McKenzie.
By the time Alfie opens his mouth to speak, you feel yourself moving involuntarily. Every fantasy you had once, every hope for the future — it vanishes as soon as you open your mouth, and as you speak, relief floods you.
You rise.
"I'm sorry, Alfie. I am," you say. "But this can't be a choice you make."
The group hesitates.
"I'm in control of my own life," you say quietly. "No one gets to decide for me."
Alfie's face contorts. His brows furrow, and Suresh looks at you with wide, concerned eyes. Arlo glares at him.
Kat gasps. Finn winds an arm around her shoulders.
"I'm leaving," you say, before you change your mind. "I can't anymore."
Kat quietly starts to cry. She hurries forward, burying her face in your shoulder. You pat, pat her back, a bit like you might do with a toddler, until Finn takes hold of Kat's arms and extracts you both from one another. Kat sniffles as she sits again.
You sigh, taking great care to view behind the camera, toward the Producer – the one with the strings.
"I didn't sign up for Ex in the Villa," you say. "I signed up for Love Island."
Alfie glances at the Villa around you.
"This might look like the Villa," you say. "But it isn't. There's no romance, no fun. Just drama. Just hurt. Why would anyone in their right mind want to do this? Why would anyone find it fun to relive times when they were hurt, cheated on, belittled, controlled?"
Suresh looks down.
"Suresh, it's not you," you say. "There's so much potential in your character, and you could have been something great. You really could have."
You take a deep breath.
"And I saw the spoilers," you say. You inhale again, steadying yourself. Meera reaches out to you and you withdraw, moving away from her.
"To have the girl Suresh cheated on ME WITH??????????????????? IN CASA AMOR!!!????? To make her BEAUTIFUL and then STAMP A TURTLE TATTOO ON HER CHARACTER DESIGN!"
You steady yourself.
"This isn't the essence of Love Island. This is an episode of a trashy reality television show and while those are sometimes fun, that's not why I signed up for this experience – I came here for love. For fun. For fresh starts."
You exhale.
"I just want the world to know that you don't have to stay in one place, where you're comfortable," you say. "You can leave that toxic relationship. You can move away, start new. You can be whoever you want to be, with or without love."
You twirl around and walk back toward the Villa. You cast a shadow as you walk through the studio lights, out of the camera's focus, into the darkness.
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