BE ON CLOUD UNIVERSE [END]

THE ONE - TAUS

⚠️TW: mention of death, sexual abuse, physical abuse⚠️

[US POV]

"Looking back, i don't think i could have ever dealt with what i did all these years if i hadn't grown up in an abusive household." I say so softly thats make Ta stares at me as if he can hardly hear me.

Nodding, he gazes into my eyes and then kisses my forehead before stating sincerely, "I know, but you must move on somehow or it will eat you up. You can't live the rest of your life this way, i have seen how much it hurts you."

Closing my eyes, i lay my head on his chest and listen to the strong rhythmic beat of his heart as i remember my childhood sadly.

(FLASHBACK)

When i was four years old, my father took me into the backyard and took off his pants. After that, he continued to rape me mercilessly. I was treated like an animal. When i refused, i would be severely beaten. I almost lost my life because of it. I always suffered because he always came home drunk from the bar and beat me until i has black and blue bruises all over my body. However, no one knew because he would attack me in a place that no one had thought of.

When my mother come home from work, he often blew it off and told her, "your daughter fell down the stairs again, Anita. She is such a klutz. I don't know how she hasn't managed to kill herself yet."

A few years later, i fell in love with a man who ended up abusing me as well, both mentally and physically. JJ Chalach Tantijibul, a man of many virtues, but patience was not one of them. Especially when i couldn't get the twins to stop screaming or when Grey, our Pit Bull wouldn't stop barking for no reason at all.

I have been married to him for 6 years. We were blessed with a sons named Tem Kittisak Tantijibul, 6 years old and Time Chayaphon Tantijibul 4 years old.

During our marriage, JJ was a very "good" husband to me. He never forgot to give me and our sons money. He also always gave us fancy and expensive gifts. Even though i always told him that i didn't need all that, he still insisted on giving it to me. I never asked him what his job was, or where does all of the money come from, all the lavish giftd come from. As long as he was good to his family, that already enough.

However, not all life is like the story in the Korean drama. Like a day that doesn't always have sun until the night, so is my life. Almost every day, JJ comes home drunk and angry. I thought that it will happen in a short time. But my guess was wrong. It went on for weeks, then months, and finally almost 4 years.

I survived in this marriage because i no longer had anyone. Both of my parents died in the second year of our marriage. They had an accident after going back home to celebrate our second wedding anniversary. It happened to be raining that day and maybe that was the cause of their accident. It's not that i'm not sad, but finally my two "hells" disappeared. The father who always raped me, and the mother who never believed in me and always blamed me for mistakes that the father did.

Most of the time, JJ would scream at the top of his lungs before guiltlessly hitting me. We have a Pitbull dog named Grey. Grey would bark so loudly that it could make me deaf. JJ will kick Grey to the side until he is silent and helpless. There was a time when Grey almost died from being kicked and beaten by JJ very hard and brutally. When the neighbors heard it one night, they called the police and that's when everyone found out how was the man named JJ Chalach Tantijibul.

A wife beater.

After that day, our neighbors always visited me from day to day. Some also gave me advice to just divorce with JJ.