Chris POV
I woke up and went downstairs and like always Rain was up.
"Wussup?" I greeted her.
"Good morning."
"Same to you, where Q?"
"Upstairs packing."
"We got like 3 more days left." I looked at her and she shrugged.
"He wants to leave."
"Why?"
"What happened yesterday." I sighed. "I wanna apologize, I know we had conversation and I totally discarded it. I apologize."
"I am not the one you need to apologize to. I am chilling, do you wanna be with him?"
"Yes, he is my world."
"Are you attached or in love?"
"What's the difference?" She shrugged. " they mean-"
"Rain, you are a very smart girl and I don't know if you're playing dumb on purpose or you just lost every braincell." She sighed. "You know the difference, stop playing." Nijay walked in the kitchen.
"Good morning baby." She kissed me.
"Good morning beautiful." I hugged her and squeezed and i kissed her.
"What you doing ?"
"Speaking to Rain." She nodded and walked over the fridge.
Rain walked over to the bar and grabbed a bottle and I took it from her.
"You need help." I looked at her and Nijay took the bottle out my hand and put it back.
"I don't need help, we are on vacation." She walked back over there and Nijay started twerking on her bumping her back.
"Nope." She danced around her and Rain laughed. "Can you eat breakfast first?" She blocked her.
"What are we eating?" Rain sat back down and she was actually smiling.
"What you want?" Nijay asked.
"It don't matter."
"Turn on some music." Nijay gave Rain her phone and turned on the speaker.
"I wanna apologize for the drama. I am really sorry. I actually really enjoy your friendship and you are right, you have been doing a lot to make me comfortable and I just been being mean and I apologize. I just- I don't know but I am sorry."
"Okay, I accept." Nijay nodded and Rain nodded and went looking through Nijay phone for music.
The music started blasting through the speaker.
"So are you going answer my question?"
"I do love him, I love him a lot and he makes me so happy. I don't know what is wrong with me. In a way I feel like it's unbelievable." She shrugged. "I can believe how much my life as changed. Look at me, I have everything I ever asked and I am about to be a fuck Vet. I wanna start a family and I wanna be a wife and shit but what if it is to early? What if we don't work out?"
"You have to try Rain, you do know you are sabotaging this for yourself? He loves you and he wants you Rain. It's no denying the fact that he loves you." I shrugged. "We all see it and we all feel it. You are the problem. You can easily fix it by getting yourself together. What is the problem?"
"I don't know, I just feel like you should have gave me at least half of what you give Nijay." She shrugged and I looked at Nijay and she just looked at Rain. "I don't hate her or I don't hate you and I understand that we both had our faults but it just like damn. Just... damn."
"I learned my lesson and you helped me realize that I have to try harder and you showed me that the chase never stops." I confessed.
"Oh okay but what did i take from it expect heart break?" I sighed. "Now I have to watch you love someone else."
"You are stuck for no reason Rain. You gave up on me soon as I got Miyomi pregnant, I didn't even notice til later and when I was trying nothing I did was good enough. I didn't wanna be overbearing so I let you have control and that is where I fuck up because you move based on your emotions and that is going to fuck up your life." I admitted. "With Nijay, she understands how to be vocal. She is in love with me and she loves everything about me and everything that comes with me and vice versa, I am in love with her. I really do. She knows what she wants and how to tell me or show me it. She know how to operate with me and my faults. We are a true partnership and have always been in a way. I didn't get that from. I am still the same guy but now I am content with myself and I am not over think it. I am loved just the way I am and I don't have to hide shit, she trusts me to lead and I would never mess that up. I really am the same guy, nothing about me changed. I am just not afraid to show my full self with her." I expressed.
"I did give up but you gave me reason and then I realized that, what you do is not what I see for myself and then it became-
"I became your sneaky link, I was only sec to you Rain, the same way I didnt put in effort is the same way you didnt. From the jump I was the one chasing and being affectionate and shit like that, I just took it as you have a different love language or some shit. I was always pulled you out you box and trying to create a safe space for you. I have always tried and I didn't know what I was doing just like you but I was trying and I thought it was normal because I was the man but it should have been 50 50. You are so afraid of commitment Rain. You are so scared because of the shit you saw others go through and you walk you self right through those doors."
"I am not afraid, I just can't get hurt. I never wanted to go through this. I didn't see this for myself and sometimes I do feel like I self sabotaged or I did but I had my reason. Look at how we were set up, I could be in a relationship with you, you had a baby on the way, you were occupied."
"We were around each other everyday all day. You occupy most of my time. You were my everything. Jaz didn't come in the picture until you left it. So you can't blame it on that. Miyomi and I didn't have any type of relationship. We weren't even speaking because you made it clear you didn't like it. Now that I look back on it and now that me and her some conversations, I was so willing tkbgive up everything for you, even my child. I was fucked up about you and that wasn't right. I should have never felt like it was you or my child... never." She sighed
"I didn't realize that, I was so stuck in my head. I just felt like if you were single and you did something I wouldn't feel anything."
"But I didn't do anything, in my mind we were in a relationship. I felt like we were the whole nine. I was committed to you and because our lack of communication you were on a different page." She nodded.
"I get that, I understand that. I should have been more vocal."
"You are about to lose Q over something that is not there. You have to stop disrespecting yourself and him. He is trying, he is doing everything that you wanted. Everything you needed from me he is giving you without you having to ask. You are willing to fuck that up? You are willing to discard and disrespect him and his hard work for what? For nothing? What is the real problem?"
"I don't know."
"My love and your love is two different things. We aren't compatible, when we were together it was silent chaos. We destroyed each other mentally. It's almost six years later and we are still recovering, I never saw myself going through this with anybody either but I did and now I am moving on and it is what it is, it was what it was. You broke up with me and I took it so hard for months boo hoo crying, my world fell apart my whole existence was wrapped around you, I forgot how to operate and breath and live without you but you were living it up. You were so happy and free and that made me realize me and my life was a burden on you. I was holding you back. we are not meant to be. Then all the shit after that farther proves my point. You have to start loving Q the way you want to be love before you lose him and be assed out."
"I know."
