It's been like a month since I talk to rain or had any type of communication with the rain. I don't understand what she wants and I am not going to just sit around and wait for you. You dissed me and I got back up and I cried about it and I got my shit together.
I waited damn 8 fucking months and I gave you space and you turned around and was posted up and kissing on some random ass nigga. So I figured damn i might as well move the fuck on. I just generally miss her friendship more than I miss anything. I am OK with being single because it is less draining. I don't have to sit around and worry about somebody when I already have to worry about myself and my brother. And she helped me realize that I am just better off single. That day she played me like that in the kitchen I had to sit back and realize I lost myself in her. Even though she gave me so much, I also gave her so much. Which is expected in a relationship however I gave her every less breath in my body, I didn't know who I was or who I was becoming. I worried about her so much I started slipping and lacking and losing money and shit like that. I most definitely fell off of my game and it feels so good to be the old Chris again. I missed him and he enjoyed life more, was more of a risk taker, I was allowed to be impulsive and quick on my feet and always on the go. Everything slowed down with Rain and our high times were high and I really enjoyed the time that we had together but I'm finally OK with us not being together. Because at first I felt like it was the end of the world.
"Nijay..." i drug out.
"Yes Christopher..." She mocked me.
Nijay Gaines- @brwngrlkhy
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"What you doing baby?"
"I am doing my homework and I told you don't call me that."
"I'll call you whatever I feel like calling you."
"And you won't get answered." We laughed. "No but I am study so be quiet." I watched her on FaceTime.
She was a very chill and laid-back girl. She knew when to have a good time and she knew when to relax. Her schooling came before everything and I fuck with that heavy.
I hopped up and jumped in the shower. Today I am supposed to go to Rains house because some shit. It seems like they Do everything at her house now. But I did tell them that I was going to pay for the Airbnb so I gotta go. The twins have been updating me. I invited Nijay to come. So Rain can bring her a little nigga, I don't understand why she has to depend on me bringing someone for her to bring someone. If she wanted him to come he could've came. Ain't nobody pressed about him or her. It is what it is. She is right, we are on two different paths right now.
"Where are you going?" She asked looking at me.
"About to get the finishing details on the trip."
" OK, because I need to go shopping. But that's if we are really going." She smiled and started texting.
