Existence

42.

U N K N O W N  P O V

   Being tired is such an understatement. Being absolutely numb to the world is a completely different feeling. See, when you tell someone you're tired, they don't take it as a call for help, they take it as an "oh my gosh, me too! I barely slept last night." situation.

   Sometimes I avoid talking to people at all costs because I know what I say doesn't come out as what I really mean. It comes out as a joke because I'm only here to help people through their situations.

   Sometimes I forget that I'm a real person with real feelings and real life necessities. Sometimes I forget that i'm not someone's therapist and that if they truly needed help, they could find someone who's actually certified.

   The disappearance made everyone change. Our dear brother, the most. He doesn't like change. He likes everything to be the same and for everything to stay on schedule. He doesn't like mixups in the system.

   He's been really moody, actually. He's been taking his anger out on Roman, who doesn't deserve an ounce of the disrespect. All he's trying to do it help, and he can't even seem to do that right.

   Luca's been caught high a couple of times. He was told to get his act together or some bad things would be going down.

   This is how it was before. After the disappearance the first time, even if we were all younger, it's like we're repeating time. Every. Single. Family Member.

   I can't say the same for everyone, but I really hope this thing can get solved and everything can go back to as normal as it could be.

M A T T E O ' S     P O V
  

I hate this.

I hate me.

   Everything is hitting so differently now that I finally realize shes gone, again. I've been the worst big brother, the worst family member, and the worst leader.

   My family is going through the exact same thing i'm going through. Why can't I get that through my fucking head. Our father has up and left again.

   It's like every time he hears news about something that he won't have control over, he packs a bag and disappears. Sometimes I wonder why i'm not fully in control of this whole business thing.

   "You're not listening, Matteo." Andrea grumbled, rubbing his temple. "I can't fucking think straight, I don't know what you want me to do."

   "You're a part of this whole fucking thing! You're supposed to be helping us and you aren't doing shit besides staying in this fucking office and weeping! Were all going through the same thing, get that through your fucking head."

    Andrea never curses. When he does you know he's pissed. I sighed. "I get th-" "No, I don't think you do. You're, Our sister is somewhere out there right now and we have no plan. Roman came in here and talked to you about it and you blew up on him." Andrea said.

   "Roman told me Daisy was the rat and that she lied about everything. I had someone put her back in the basement. I blew up on him cause he was pushing. We need to develop a plan before we can go out and fix this fucking mess."

   "So whats the plan." Andrea crossed his arms. I closed my eyes. "There isn't one." I sighed. "Exactly. So why don't we just cool off for a few hours, and then we will figure something out later." Andrea stood from the chair and walked out of the room, no other explanation.

   I took out my phone, pressing on Romans contact. Only problem was the little asshole didn't answer his phone.

   I called Luca. "What." "Have you seen Roman?" I asked, suddenly worried about my brother. "Pretty sure I saw him leaving. Said he was going to hang out with some kids." I hung up the phone and quickly exited the office.

R O M A N ' S     P O V

   "Your brothers calling y-" "Don't fucking touch my phone." I said, pressing the gas pedal to go a little faster. "You never told me where we were going?"

   "Do you ever shut up?" I was seriously annoyed. I need some peace and quiet not this asshole talking the entire ride. "Sorry." He mumbled.

   I sighed. "Look, I got word on a location where Kins and Keaton may be. I'm just doing a drive by." He laughed. "Oh lord, the last time you did a drive by, you got shot." Tate gasped for air. It was silent for a couple of minutes, the only sound heard was the engine, roaring to life and occasionally the sound of police sirens.

   "I really miss them. Keaton especially. I feel like a peace of me is lost now. I've been keeping everything bottled up." He explained. Sometimes I hate how open he is.

   "I feel the same but with Kins. I don't know, everyone back at the house is all touchy. You try to explain something to them and they just lash out. I get they're going through some tough shit, but were still family. We still need to be there for each other." I paused for a second, "How are your boys holding up?" I asked, genuinely curious.

   He sighed, "They're alright. Been planning how to get Keaton and Kins back safe. Jhett hasn't been a part of the planning though. I think he's taking this the hardest out of all of us. I'm pretty sure I caught him walking in high on something in the middle of the night." Tate explained. J nodded.

   "Same thing with Luca. Matteo told him to get his act together or he'd suffer some consequences." Tate nodded. "Ty went nuts on Jhetts ass. Told him if he didn't clean up his shit he'd be out of the house and end up like Keaton. We haven't seen him since." Tate looked out the window.

   "You haven't heard from him?" I asked, drawing his attention back in. Tate looks really tired. He isn't himself and I don't blame him one bit. Most people could tell you he's like a golden retriever. Now, he looks away from everyone and doesn't talk unless he's genuinely curious about something.

   He shook his head. "He disappeared. He turned off his location too. I have an idea he's staying with his brother a couple houses down from ours though. I'll check later."

   I looked at the map on the car screen, "Were about to drive by. Be on the lookout for dudes hid-"

"Does this look concerning to you?"

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Hey guys! Been absent for a hot moment and I apologize.

How we doing?

I love you 🫶

<3 -K