RED PARALLEL

Chapter 67: Smoked

So he's gay... Phants is gay... No, this is hilarious, this is...

"Phants, you've gone crazy, that's ridiculous."

"Exactly." Phants nodded, lighting a cigarette.

Traviz had no decent strength to tell him drop that fucking stick, now.

"Exactly," Phants repeated, sucking the smoke. "I went crazy. And it's ridiculous. I'd laugh about it if I had enough lungs."

"I can't believe this..." Traviz pulled down his face. Then, he remembered something, and the blood rose to the top. "Wait a minute. You lied to me."

"I lied to you?" Phants wondered, blowing the smoke. He was less nervous. All the desperation was gone. Phants was 'stick' changed.

"You said you weren't gay, motherfucker. You said that. You lied to me."

"Sorry, but you're so short-minded that I believe you would not understand. At this point, not anymore. And you didn't answer me. Troy, I need a response so I can decide what-"

Traviz's mind was galloping savagely, multiple viruses crowding his neurons.

"Lemme get this straight, you asshole," he growled. "So that means that all the time we spent together was because of your, your gay shit? You were just fucking playing this friendship thing so you could get close to me and... All the jokes, the plays, our friendship, it was all because you were gay?"

"So that's how you see it?" Phants scrunched up his nose. "That's so you."

"SO THAT MEANS I NEVER HAD A FRIEND BUT A HOMO WHO JUST WANTED TO FUCK ME?"

Phants turned to the wall, lowering his head and the cigarette. He said nothing. The smoke blew up and reached the ceiling. So slow and sad, while all cells inside Traviz were screaming in disgust. Damn, they had hugged each other, they had slept together. Traviz had made so many jokes, imagining that the gay crap was just crap. So ridiculous. So many years-

"YO, HERE'S THE FUCKING ANSWER, YOU PUSSY," Traviz boomed. "I. DON'T. FUCKING. LOVE. YOU."

Phants blew the smoke again. "Perfect. Thank you," he said, strangely peaceful.

"Yeah," Traviz growled. "I'm outta here. Jeez."

Traviz marched toward the door, but Phants shook his head.

"No, no, no," he said. "You stay right back there, boy."

"Fuck you." Traviz turned around, fuming.

He heard a click.

What?

He knew that click. The sound chilled his spine.

Phants was pointing a gun right at Traviz's face, without meeting eyes, not a single emotion but tranquility, enjoying his cigarette, staring down at one of the white boxes near his hip.

"Troy, meet my Silver Boy," Phants declared. "Silver Boy, Troy. I never thought you guys would meet each other. I was supposed to throw this with my Uncle, but I kinda have a thing for it."

"Phants, what are d-doing, d-don't s-shoot, pl-" Traviz stuttered. That gun felt a hundred times more perilous than any other gun he was pointed at during his West times.

"Shut up, Troy. I'm the one speaking, okay?" his tone was sweet, immensely scary, and super inadequate. "I feel like talking, I ain't done yet. Let me express myself a little more..."

No, that was enough expressing, what the hell, what the-

"Get back there, Troy." Phants gestured with the gun.

"Put that gun down-"

"I'm putting it down whenever I feel like it," Phants uttered. "Sit on that chair. Now."

Traviz obeyed, retreating slowly, eyes snapping from the gun to Phants's face.

"Phants, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to call you pussy-"

"Yes, you did." Phants started walking around the chair, smoking the fourth cigarette, examining his Silver Boy, smoke filling the circle. He started monologuing, Traviz feeling a huge sweat dripping through his back every time Phants walked behind him. "You think it was easy for me? You are not gay, but then why were you so lovely with me? That just wasn't right, what you did. You played with me. I fell in love with a beautiful homophobic boy... How could you do this to me? Be so adorable, so wonderful, why did you make me fall in love with you? Was that a prank? Hm?"

Phants halted in front of him and bent over, gun cold on his hand.

"You're the most beautiful and terrible thing I've ever seen in my life, and trust me, I've seen plenty of nasty things. But you had no idea what was going on. Right? Your stupidity was adorable but it killed me."

"P-Phants, I-"

"I loved you like hell, I gave you everything, I let you stay in my house, I watched you cry and I tried to help you, meanwhile you just wanted to have fun and be pampered."

Tears fell. He having a nightmare, wasn't he? "Phants, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry-"

"You're not sorry. You don't mean it. But even if you do, what's the matter? Remember your phrase: stop saying sorry and do the right thing. If we got back in time, would you be able to do the right thing? To love me right? I don't think so. Because you'll never change. You're stupid. You never learn. You're an eternal dumbass. So stop saying sorry and just listen."

"No, I mean it, I didn't know-"

"WELL, NOW YOU DO!"

Phants shed tears, too, the gun hanging in his hand, the smoke steaming around. He coughed, he shook his gun to the sky, eyes wide and red, as if swallowing bitterness and breathing some acid shit, maniac. That was tearing, Traviz didn't mean all that. That was not fair, to be pointed as the guilty, he hadn't done anything wrong, he was the one who had been fooled, betrayed, how could he ever imagine... Could he? Weren't they supposed to love each other, like brothers, like...

"Phants, listen, listen." Traviz tried to get up from the chair, but his body would not obey his deep wish to go toward his mad friend and take that gun off his hands, take that idea- "Phants, I'll choose you, I'll choose you with all the people I love, I wouldn't leave you ever, I love you yes, forget what I said, I'm just not gay, but I-"

"WELL, YOU DID IT WRONG, THEN! YOU SCREWED UP, IMBECILE!" Phants kicked a pile of boxes into Traviz's direction. "I don't wanna see you happy with anyone else but me. Why don't you understand that? That's so fucking simple!"

"Phants, we can't live with just-"

"WELL, I CAN! I HATE EVERY FUCKING PEOPLE IN THIS SHIT, YOU'RE THE ONLY ONE, ONLY ONE. BUT I'M SO STUPID, WHY DID I CHOOSE AN ASSHOLE LIKE YOU-"

"STOP YELLING AT ME!"

"Alright..." Phants looked down. "Wanna hear a story, then, Troy?"