RED PARALLEL

Chapter 73: One Step at a Time

Song: Start Again (feat. Logic), by OneRepublic.

(Owen)

"Hell to the no this guy is staying here," Nate spoke, fury firing up from his semblance. Owen gulped and glanced at G.klo', wondering if the story the man had made up at the hospital would convince a fly. "He's a fucking traitor and almost killed Daddy G."

The entire Crib started speaking at the same time. Wrath. Poison. Repulsion. "Take that white hairdo outta here," one spoke. "We don't associate with murderers," the other spoke. Owen let the cannon of words pierce his chest. He couldn't let out a syllable in his defense, because after all, they were right: he was a murderer, he was a sinner, and The Crib was right to try and shunt him out as quickly as possible. 

Troy seemed to be just as insecure about the man's improvised plot. He was silent, glancing at everyone with anxious chocolate eyes, arms crossed, cap buried under an armpit, and Owen wished he could fix that messy hair of his, feel its softness and dream of a reality where he didn't have to stand in front of people that made the color of his skin brighter than ever before. If only he could paint his body in brown and mingle as if he wasn't the person he was. He tried to stare down at his feet but the entire body was petrified with a lingering fear of having to say goodbye to Troy and probably rejoin his cigarettes and white dust at a place he'd never call home.

G.klo' sat comfortably at the same couch Owen had once lay broken down to pieces and numb to his core, wishing it had been Troy who made his curative instead of that Rachel; the lady hadn't showed up yet to prove she was a proper girlfriend. Something in his stomach churned and Owen asked himself if Troy's gastritis had alleviated during the years they were apart or if the dude was about to vomit from the current tension. Owen quickly examined him again. They met eyes and he was glad Troy didn't look away. Something in his inflicted body language said, "This is so fucked up but we're gonna be okay, I promise." 

Maybe he was dreaming too hard. 

After everyone was satisfied in cursing Owen and trying to make the intruder leave for once, G.klo' cleared his throat and raised a hand to shut the noise. "Let me speak, people." He got up, but his chest apparently still ached, so he sat again. "I'll tell you what actually happened. Owen, are you comfortable with me sharing this information with them?"

He just nodded worldlessly, afraid of hearing the crackness of his voice.

G.klo' drew a kind smile on his face. That man was unbelievable. The Crib fell silent and waited for the man's speech. Everything he said sounded like a speech. 

"Don't we all feel disheartened and hopeless from time to time? Don't we all quickly entertain the idea that if this is the life we don't want, we better off vanished from Earth? I know some of you had, many times during your troubled pasts, wondered how relieving it'd be if you weren't so alive. Because life can be exhausting. Emotions and memories can drain us. I am in no condition to describe what this young man has been through much less the intricacies of his recent emotions, but I can tell you this: wishing to take our own lives shouldn't be judged, condemmed, nor punished. Owen tried to take his life away and this young man you all know so well," G.klo' gestured towards Troy, who seemed cornered by so many eyes. "This formidable person tried to stop him. The bullet accidentally hit me." He let the silence creep in and spoke again. "So stop pointing fingers at Owen and respect his feelings. You're in no place to tell him what he's ought to do. He's never tried to hurt Traviz, he's never tried to hurt me. He tried to hurt himself because he believed that was fair."

There was not enough throat in Owen's neck that could gulp as hard as he was doing right now.

"And," Troy spoke, catching everyone by surprise. His voice was rather soft and balanced, as if he didn't look fidgety at all. Maybe G.klo' had really taught him how to speak placidly amid incoming chaos. Or maybe Owen was indeed having an hallucination. "When Daddy G fell, Phants was... Berserk with shock... And so he shot himself and succeeded because I went over to Daddy G... And... You all shouldn't talk shit about Owen, for real. He was just having a fucking hard ass time. And because of me." Troy sighed and looked at Owen, who hoped for their own sake that the matter ended before anyone started levitating around in high pitch calling him 'homo'. "This is all my fault."