The Twenty Five Percent Rayanna

This Isn't Me

             I roll over and feel the sweet relief of an empty bed. I open my eyes and look around the small house. No sign of Altair, anywhere. I sigh in relief. Sitting up, I swing my legs over the side of the bed and stand to my feet. I don't know where Altair is this morning, and I don't really care. I walk over to our shared closet, pull out some clothes and head to the small bathroom. Technically it is a bathroom, it has a toilet, shower, and sink; but it's not much bigger than the closet. Maybe the term water closet would be a better fit. Picking up my hairbrush, I look into the mirror. The girl in the reflection is not me. She has a bruised cheek and a blackened eye, the fear showing in her eyes is unreal.

             Where is the girl who bravely told her brother to run while she distracted the wild dogs? It's the situation I'm in. Who can be brave when you are being beaten? So, if the situation is bad change it. I can't. The whole reason I'm in this situation is so that Wolfe and Lou can live free and happy. And who is to say that they won't if you live somewhere else? That's a good point. Living somewhere else. I think we need to try that.

         Afterarguing with myself, back and forth, the only plan I can come up with, is torun. It may not be the most thought-out plan, but I'm sure it will work. It hasto work. If it doesn't, not only will I be punished, but I'm fairly sure Wolfeand Lou will be as well. I brush my hair, set a determined look on my face, and march to the front door. At the door, I see a note stuck on the wall next to the doorknob. I immediately recognize the handwriting; it belongs to Altair. The determined look on my face fades and is replaced by fear, as I read what it says: "Remember what we talked about last night. Remember that actions have consequences for everyone involved. I have a million things to do, this morning, so I won't be back until dinner. I will be at the barracks if you need anything. Otherwise, your morning is free, have a good day. Love, Altair."

            I snort in disbelief. "Love Altair? Really? After all, you put me through last night. Please. I don't love you at all. I will not live my life in constant pain and fear of punishment. This is not who I am. I am stronger than this. I am better than this. This is not who I want Lou to grow up to become. With no mother, she will grow up thinking she wants to be me. I don't want her to make the same mistake. This life is not okay. I am leaving all of this behind." Nowto figure out if Wolfe actually left or if I was being lied to. I throw the door open wide, and the guards outside are so startled that they jump and turn around to face me.

           "Where are you off to this morning, missus?" one of the guards asks.

             "Rayanna." The other guard says. "Where are you off to this morning, Rayanna?"

             "I have some business to attend to," I say, in my best authoritative voice. Maybe if I sound as if I am in charge, they won't question me any further.

          "I don't know if that's such a good idea." The first guard says.

            "I'm thinking you should probably stay here." The second guard says.

             So much for that idea. "Altair said I have the morning to myself, to do whatever I want. He said that if you have a problem with that, he can reassign you to something more fitting, such as kitchen duty." I say thinking fast.

               "No. No. We believe you." The first guard responds.

                Bingo.

              "We were only concerned for your safety." The second guard answers.

                   "Wait a minute. What do you mean, 'concerned for my safety'? With the vast number of soldiers roaming the city, what exactly do you think would happen?" I ask. What the heck do they mean? What has Altair told them? I can feel my anger starting to rise.

                  "I just mean, Altair has told us about your..." he pauses a moment to think, before continuing, "clumsiness. I would hate for something to happen to you. Altair would have our heads."

                "You need to unhand me, now, or I will be the one delivering your heads to Altair." I threaten in a low voice.

              "Yes, ma'am! Sorry, ma'am!" The soldier says, letting go of my arm.

                I swear I hear the second soldier snickering. "Now. I will be gone most of the day, but you can tell Altair that I will be back at dinnertime. He can expect me then." I say.

                 "See you then." The second soldier says.

               I stroll purposefully, away, towards the library. Once out of sight, I double back towards the dorms that house Wolfe and Lou. The last thing I need is for them to know where I went and tell Altair. My little deception should by me some time. I need to find my brother and my niece and then we all need to get out of here. I pass by several soldiers as I go, my new position, as Altair's wife, has made it harder to blend in. So rather than hide and draw suspicion, I give a friendly smile and a wave just as I would every other morning.

          With the guards seeing me heading for the library, hopefully, anyone else who is questioned would believe that they saw me yesterday. I see the barracks up ahead, standing tall and unassuming, in a small clump of trees. I make another turn, in between two smaller buildings, and quickly put space between me and that building. Can't have Altair getting suspicious so soon, or I'll never be able to get away. I quicken my pace as I approach a few more smaller buildings. Then I see it standing before me, the dormitory that Wolfe and Lou call home.