I'm sitting next to you
And you're trying to look at her
How humiliating , to be me .
I sacrificed my comfort for glimpses of someone who wouldn't dare look at me.
How embarrassing it is, to love lonely.
And you made space for her beside you,
And she played with your hair, and you smiled too--you took her picture and you laughed with her and walked with her and--
stayed.
And I was right in front of you.
You never looked my way.
Your eyes never met mine, though they shined for her.
Your heart must dwell on her, as one sided love does for another.
You must be in pain, like me, no
Not really, no.
I've intervened.
This must be God's will.
I've placed myself in the wrong story, Yes,
I know.
I won't pry into your world anymore
I won't force myself a role.
I'll leave, quietly
Unto reality I go.
The pieces on your board remain
No need for royal.
All is restored for you to move as you please
I shall leave the barricade as you've placed between us with so much ease.
A part of me thinks you're the one holding on
And I know ! I know better...
But I'm still here.
I'm trying to escape.
Can't.
If I could move, I would.
If I could stop, would I?
Knowing it's all in my head.
I should be cutting the vines that show,
Ripping it at the root!
Why do I still water them knowing It may never grow?
The ghost of my last words linger
Dare you notice? Care?
Why do you act as though someday your heart will show somewhere...
I'll take every piece of this puzzle, as I see.
I won't ask or dwell on your memories.
I'll never shed a morsel of interest to ever be part.
I'll repent , I'll forget.
Trying to play fate.
For thinking there's more kindness in this world than hate.
I'll apologize, for taking up space.
You were my chosen person, but I was just a pretty face.
You were my prison, my healing and crime
Over lapping stories, just a brief moment in time.
Just me and my little feelings
To take care off alone
To water, to bury, to master
To own.
-F
