Poems from a liar

Peoms from a liar ( Calling For Help)

I won't understand how heated arguments sprout from pointless objects such as dishes. How things can un-fold by a drop of a pin.

I grow tired of doing all the work by my self. Fighting with the good and bad within my self to shun the outside world from its toxic words.

Always thinking about ending my life to finally get silence. To not deal with wondering if she really was my friend or is just playing a game.

Being stressed by algebra problems that seem to hold a hidden answer to my life. If only i could crack the code to this train wreck.

I wish i could disappear and see from the outside of my life. See me in another light. How long can someone live this way ?

Thinking people will change but they never will. Waiting for my 18th birthday to run away from my inner problems and try to start over.

I thought i was starting over. But, my demons seem to follow me where ever I go. Our family is splitting and I will we could just bond together. I know this wouldn't end well from the start.

Trying to ignore the sighs that were right in front of me. I keep repeating a sang that just stuck with me ' God only give you what you can handle'.

How is this possible. i can't handle it. But somehow i am. I won't understand the way God works. Is he even real? I just want to feel safe again.

To not over hear another argument between my family members. I just want it all to stop. I'm not sure how much i can handle. Just when your about to break, something good will happen. SO where is my finish line? I just need some time to think about my life.

To not be shut down or afraid to talk to my own mother about my feelings. I doubt she would even listen to them. But, blame the only shred of good in my life.

My step father.

I use him as a crutch when i'm crippled by my own emotions. This life has no meaning to me anymore. I feel like I'm just a piece in a bigger game I just can't see yet.

Is this really the life I want.

The life your living is it really what you want?

Or just a life someone else wants to be living ?

All the questions ,but no answers.

I just feel like i'm meant for bigger things in the world. Maybe were all meant for greater things. I just wish there was a sigh. A message that could keep my faith up .

Keep me believing.

I just wish I had a Calling.