Poems from a liar

Poems from a liar (Today will be a difference )

this is the part i've been waiting for. Theres no more opbstacles to leap over to get to my finish line. No more doubt that i don't deserve to be happy. Because i do.

I've realized that everyone has problems, everyone has hard times and sometimes you get stuck. Sometimes thats for days and in my case years. BUt, when you find your way to your finish line it all makes sense. When i was younger i always said i would never date an asain guy and here today i'm falling for you.

I never believed that i was beautiful in my own way. Always feeling different. He makes me feel different and now its okay to be different. I never knew that my heart could beat for someone else. For someone else to say " I love you" and for them to actually mean it.

I know that you won't always wake up to rose petals after a night of hot steamy sex..well you could but anyways. Everyone has there big episode. The final episode where it all comes together. Mine was finally yelling to my family that i do want to kill my self. I'm not proud of what i did or how it happened but it had to happen.

It felt good to finally break threw  the brick wall. And no the grass isn't greener on the other side. I still have problems. I'm not saying your problems will be washed away if you confront your biggest fear. It just makes things a little more easier.

Everything just comes together. Where you can take a deep breath and you realize your life my life doesn't suck as it used too. It's a victory day. Where i can just soak up the rays of happiness that i thought never exsisted .

I will be honest . I'm still suicidal and its alright. I just have another reason to keep fighting and so shoud you guys. Not every wish and dream or hope will come true. You gotta try to make them work. You must make them work. Nothing comes easily and if they do they won't last long. I've learned that the hardest way there is.

I've been silent for the longest. And know i feel like i'm finally being heard. I don't feel like im drowning. I don't feel like i'm just waiting to die. I'm ready to live. Theres a difference of being in love and being in love with love. And this love isn't any other. With this person it wouldn't matter if he left me tomorrow or tonight.

I wouldn't push my self back behind the brick wall. I wouldn't regret anything. Everything happens for a reason. No one perfect. So don't except your prince or princess with no flaws to come knocking on your door. When your in love you see past thoughs flaws and only see perfection.

When your in love. You will conestly remind that person that there the most important thing in the world and no matter what any one says or does, your always going to be in mind. I won't stop looking forward to being with you.

When you start to change you can feel it. You stopping talking to old people who remind you of your past. And you start forgiving the people that caused some pain. There just all fazes. It just depends on how you deal with them. And, you might say im tired of trying. And i totally understand beacuse i used and probably still like you guys.

But, as you mature and grow and start to drive over you obstacle in life you relaize that you weren't tired of trying but tired of trying alone. 

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HEY GUYS!!!!! I HAVEN'T POSTED A POEM LATLEY SO HERE YOU GO :) HOPE THIS HELPS EVERYONE WHO READS AND I HOPE EVERYONE CAN RELALTE :) CHECK OUT MY PREGNANT STORY AND MY OTHERS :)