INCENSE

Chapter 19

I was about to get into bed because it was bedtime, but I couldn't sleep. I have a lot on my mind. I look on the ceiling. Napabuntong-hininga ako. Kung pwede ko lang sana matapos lahat in just one day, I could feel at ease. Still I need to work hard. Kailangan kong matulog ng maaga because I have lots of work to do. I close my eyes. Sleep now. Pero hindi pa man ako nakaidlip ay biglang may kumalabog sa labas. Ang tahimik na gabi ay biglang binulabog ng isang ibon? Goodness, Can't I sleep peaceful for a while, I need some peace you know?! Hinawi ko ang kurtina at binuksan ang bintana. It was the white owl again. Anong ginagawa niya rito? Wala naman siyang dalang papel?

"Shooo, shoooo. Alis! Iniistorbo mo ang tulog ko. Diba sabi ko, wag kanang babalik pa rito."taboy ko sa ibon.

Di kalaunan ay umalis din ito at lumipad pailalim. Sinundan ko ito ng tingin. I saw someone down there. Humarap ito sa direksyon ko at tinanggal nito ang nakatakip sa ulo niya. Hindi ko alam kung matutuwa ako o magagalit ng malaman kong nandito siya mismo sa harapan ko. He was the owner of that white owl. Bigla itong tumalon paakyat sa mga sanga ng puno papunta sa balkonahe ko. This was in the second floor but he's clever climbing up the trees easily. Binuksan ko ang pinto ng balkonahe. There, I saw him sitting on the railings casually.

"Good evening." He greets me and waves his hand.

"What's nice in the evening when your owl suddenly disturbed me and someone trespassing in our vicinity, and most especially, a liar comes to see me?" I said. Biglang kumulo ang dugo ko at the thought of what he did to me. I immediately approach him at sasampalin ko na sana siya ng agad niyang hinawakan ang kamay ko. He pulled me closer to him and his other hand on my waist. I can't move.

"How dare you!"

"Dare me. I had no idea the princess smacks her guess upon greeting them. What a shame.”

"Let me go! You fake! You deceived me!"

"Ssshhh, lower your voice or else someone will wake up. I'll let you go if you will calm down."

"Why are you here? To mock me? To make a fool out of me? Kill me? Then go ahead. Just kill me already para tapos na lahat." He's staring intently to me. He appears to be in here for no particular reason. Those eyes. As the moonlight catches the crimson colors, they grow darker. I don't hate it. Although he looks like the devil. I have no fear. I burst into tears.

"Ano? Wala kang masabi? Why are you doing this to me? I saved you back then but you repay with lies. You always playing around. Fooling me and it makes me crazy thinking that why are you like this? Bakit moko ginaganito? Do I deserve this? Sorry, if I'm an idiot who knows nothing so please explain it to me. Why you should lie. Why did you comeback? Why? Why?"

"I did it for your sake."

"For my sake? Bakit? Ano bang dapat mong itanggo na hindi ko dapat malaman?"

"You don't have to know."

"Ayan ka na naman palagi. You're shutting your mouth again. I don't even know a single thing about you even your real name. Ganon ba ako ka walang kwenta para hindi mo mapagkatiwalaan? I was good but never been enough, right? You know what’s hurts the most? I though you're the person who will never betray me. Even I am a nobody, a stranger to you. I was hoping you are not like them but you are. You're the most stupid person I met in my whole life. Sana hinayaan na lang kitang mamatay noong araw na yun." He says nothing at all. He had a tight expression. Dahan-dahan niyang binitawan ang kamay ko at kamay niya sa bewang ko. He started to wipe my tears.

"You really look like a monkey when you cry."

"I hate you! I hate you! I hate youu!!!!" Hinampas-hampas ko ang dibdib nito.

"I'm sorry." Huminto ako sa paghampas sa kanya.

"You already know me." He added.

"What? I don't get it. What are you saying?"

"I came here to say goodbye."

"Why, where are you going?"

" This will be the last time I see you. Do you remember? I promised to return. I can tell you're doing well. Keep going." He pats my head.

I don't know what to say. I just look at him with confusion.

"Well then. I’ll get going." Akmang tatalon na siya pero pinigilan ko siya.

"Wait! Could you just tell me your real name?"

"You know it already."

"You mean."

"You're cute when you don't know anything. You don’t have to know everything right now. One day you'll realize it." He pinched my nose.

"Where are you going?"

"Somewhere far."

"Your lying again."

"It’s only natural for the devil to deceive an angel." Binitawan ko na siya.

"Farewell. Princess, sleep tight." Before I could say anything. He vanishes in the night. The moon watched me as I dropped down on my knees and sobbed in front of the balcony. My physique was not weakened by the cold wind. I am helpless. My heart was wounded. Hindi ko alam dahil ba sa ako ang may mali o dahil umalis na naman siya? And he said it was the last time. He's always leaving me hanging. What should I do? He never told me to wait for him, so why did I do it anyway? He never promised to stay, but I still yearn for him. Will he stay if I say anything? He remained silent at the end and never reveals his true identity. Kahit hindi ko akuin sa sarili ko, I know I really missed him so much that my heart will go to burst that he’s leaving again. Bakit kapa babalik kung aalis ka ng hindi ka na naman magpapaalam kung saan ka pupunta? I shocked at my thought. Why? he’s not my lover anyway. Why should I keep him by my side? Why him? Despite the fact that I was already broke when I first met him, I am aware that he is a devil who will ruin me. He was an unshakeable curse from which I simply like falling.