Silent Cellmate

15. The Past

Ash's POV:

Once Loki had composed himself we enjoyed our lunch in companionable silence. Both of us were too focused on the delectable food that lay before us.

"I brought us a little treat," Loki said with a grin. I felt my eyes grow to the size of saucers as I gazed upon the slice of chocolate cake. I can't remember the last time I have eaten something that indulgent.

Loki passed me the plate and then grabbed the second slice for himself. It was the most delicious thing I had eaten in years, but I was full before I had even managed half the slice. Loki on the other hand had already scraped his plate clean.

I smiled up at him and passed the rest of the cake back to the chocolate-loving god. "No Ash, I have eaten mine, this piece is for you," he said firmly, rolling his eyes at my gesture.

I giggled at his foolishness. "I know it was for me Mischief, but that was far too big a slice for little mortals such as myself. I am sure that you can polish off the rest for me".

I smiled when he began to blush after realising his portion blunder. But he quickly rid himself of that embarrassment by inhaling the rest of the cake.

"Now that the food is done, I believe I owe you a story. I know that I am yet to tell you of my past and the curiosity must be eating you alive" I say with a small smile.

Loki looked confused and said, "Nothing is eating me alive. I am in perfect health Ash". I could not stop the laughter bubbling in my throat.

"I didn't mean literally Lokes, it's an old Earth idiom. Sometimes I forget how literal Asgardians are" I manage to choke out between fits of hysteria.

"Lokes?" He questioned, raising his eyebrows to attempt to look annoyed. I just giggled and replied "I said what I said" with a grin.

He just rolled his eyes and sighed "whatever you want darling". This did not help me to stop laughing. But after a while, I finally calmed down.

"My story isn't a happy one, but I am willing to open up to you, for a small price that is". I say with a sly grin since I know this will pique his interest.

"And what price would that be pet," he asked with a mischievous smirk.

"As much as I love you no matter your form, I am very much missing the real you. Would you please drop your illusion while I tell my tale of woe". I was nervous to ask this. I know that being Jotun in the dungeon is one thing. But being in his own room in his true form may be a step too far.

He pauses for a moment to think about his response. "I will drop the illusion as long as I get to hold you in my arms while you tell me the tale. I have a feeling that you may require comfort and that may be the only thing that stops me from landing myself in the dungeon permanently".

His counteroffer made perfect sense so I agreed without further hesitation.

I watched as the blue spread up from his fingertips and covered him and his eyes became crimson red. I smiled brightly and wrapped my arms around him. "I missed you like this" I whispered in his ear.

After a few moments, I pulled away to see him smiling and his eyes brimming with more tears. I hope that one day I can show him enough love that he no longer dislikes this form.

He slowly moved behind me with his back resting against the headboard. Once he was fully situated he pulled me into his lap and had me lean my head back against his shoulder. I felt his arms wrap around me tightly as if to anchor me to the present in fear that I could disappear at any moment.

"Take your time darling, we have all day and I will not rush you" he spoke gently. I did not want to wait, so I took a deep breath and began.

"I never knew my parents. I was told that I had been abandoned on the steps of the orphanage where I grew up, though I have no clue if that is true. Everyone there bullied me relentlessly because I stuttered and never dared to fight back. The owner of the orphanage made us all call him Dad and convinced me to stop speaking as no one wanted to hear my pathetic broken voice. I was 6 at the time. That was when the abuse started. It was just beatings at first, but it developed into more.
When I turned 10 I could no longer stand the abuse and ran away. I didn't make it far, someone grabbed me and drugged me. I don't know what happened but when I awoke I was in a brothel on Asgard, though I didn't know it at the time. The abuse started from the moment I awoke and didn't stop until a few months ago when I turned 22.
One night after a particularly bad evening I laid awake crying and staring at my candle. I decided I would be better off dead, so I set a fire in the room I was locked in before my next client came.
Somehow the fire did not hurt or kill me. But it ran rampant through the building killing the owners and slaves alike. A few clients were also killed, they happened to be members of your father's council.
When I was pulled out of the flames by some guards I was brought to Odin. He wanted to sentence me to a public beating and then execution for my crimes against Asgard. But Frigga didn't allow it, she insisted that I should not be hurt or killed. Instead, I should be given to you.
I assumed that I was to be your personal slave, and maybe I was. But the love and kindness that you have shown me in these few months have been more than I have experienced in my whole life. I understand that it's probably over now but I am still thankful.
All I ask is that whatever you decide to do, please don't toss me away. If you don't want me then please just kill me. I want to die with the only person who has ever made me feel safe".

I finish my story with tears streaming down my face. I do my best to enjoy these last few precious moments with my love before everything changes.

I feel his arms tighten around me and I close my eyes preparing for the worst. But nothing else happens. He just holds me while I cry until my tears run dry.

After some time I was brave enough to open my eyes and look up at Loki. I was surprised to see tears track down his cheeks and I could not stop myself from cupping his cheek.

"P..please don't cry for me. I do not deserve your tears. I have killed so many, I am nothing but a slave". I said quietly, desperately trying to keep my voice strong.

"Don't say that love, I beg of you. You deserve all the kindness and love in the world. You are not a slave" he said, his voice wavering from the torrent of emotions crashing into him.

"But I am. Odin has paperwork stating that fact. Only he can raise my status from slave to something else. Clearly, he has made me yours" I say with a sad smile.

Now he knows the truth things will have to change. He is a prince and I must treat him as such. I carefully slip out of his arms and get off the bed.

I kneel on the floor facing him in the submissive position I had learned to perfect over the years. "I am at your service master".

I don't hear anything but I continue to hold my position keeping my head down. I know my place, it was taught to me a long time ago and I will not forget it easily.

I hear Loki get up from the bed but I stay exactly where I am and wait for what is coming. I hear him pace a few times before coming to stand beside me.

I am shocked when he kneels beside me and pulls me into his arms. I feel hot tears fall against my shoulders.

"Never call me that again. You are not my slave, you are my friend, my love, my heart. I don't give a damn about your station" his voice wavering with emotion.

I try to pull away but he won't let me go. "Please, listen to me. If you ever want your freedom you need to do this. Odin will never respect you if you don't". I hold back my tears, I know what needs to be done. I can't let him stay trapped for my sake.

"I love you, and I always will, but I can't allow you to be a prisoner for the rest of your life because of me". I raise my hand to cup his cheek. "This is the way things have to be, if only for appearances".

"My love you are confined to my chambers, there is no one to see or hear what we do. There is no need for you to worry about appearances" he said softly while stroking my hair. "You are worth more than me freedom, I could never treat you as a slave".

I just quietly nodded against his chest. But I knew that I would have to hide things from him to make it appear as though he was treating me as a slave. It was his only chance at redemption.