Silent Cellmate

18. Charade

Loki's POV:

The weeks flew past and I kept my promise to Ash. Every time someone entered my chambers I used my magic to change her clothes back into the dirty ones she insisted on wearing. They were becoming more ragged by the day yet she promised me that it was fine.

When it came to acting like her master I just disregarded her presence. It seemed like the easiest way to act as though I was above her.

I hated every second of the act but she promised that it was for the best. In private we would spend lots of quality time together to make up for the lost time.

I was already halfway through reading Harry Potter and The Prisoner Of Azkaban. We both enjoyed the time we spent snuggling up on the couch together. I think she finds my voice soothing.

I had decided that once I get the freedom to go to the markets I would purchase some supplies to help her learn how to read. Her desire to consume literature rivalled my own so I hoped that it would make her happy.

As much as I was opposed to playing the role of her master, it didn't seem to be hurting anyone. I didn't have to say anything that could hurt her since she behaved like a perfect slave in the company of others.

Well until today that is.

Odin had decided to come back and check on my progress with her. She once again knelt by my side when he entered my chambers.

The visit was going perfectly fine until Odin addressed Ash. "Slave, get me some water" he demanded. The way he spoke to her made my skin crawl but I stayed silent and didn't show my rage.

She bowed her head and rushed away to get him a drink. Everything was going perfectly until she dropped the glass of water on the floor.

As it shattered into tiny fragments she made eye contact with me. I knew what I had to do but it sickened me to my core.

"You useless slave, how dare you ruin the King's visit" I shouted as I stormed over to her. She had crouched down to pick up the fragments so I grabbed her wrist forcing her to stand.

I tried to be gentle but she refused to cry out until I tightened my grip. Why wouldn't she just fake the pain so I didn't have to behave this way?

My inner voice was screaming at me to stop when I looked into her eyes. I saw her trust in me but I could also see a glimmer of fear.

"I'm s..sorry master, I will clean this up r..right away" she stuttered out.

"Well, aren't you going to punish it?" Odin said. He turned to me with a steely gaze. I knew that it wasn't really a question, more of an order.

I threw her to the ground as softly as I dared before raising my foot to kick her. I aimed the blow at her stomach to avoid causing her too much harm. I even managed to land the kick with my leg rather than my boot. I just hoped that she could forgive me.

This made her cry out and curl into a small ball. "All in due time Father. For now, she will clean this mess. Maybe if she can please me enough for the rest of the day it will lessen her punishment tonight" I said with a nasty smirk.

The words tasted like poison on my tongue. I was barely able to keep myself together. Odin grinned back at me, "make sure you don't go too easy on it, I will come back tomorrow to check on your handiwork".

With one final glare at Ash he turned and left. Once his footsteps had disappeared down the hallway I fell to my knees and vomited. My entire body shook and tears burned my eyes.

The second my stomach was empty I turned to look at Ash. She had moved so that her back was pressed against the wall. Her hand was resting on her stomach and I could see that my hand had bruised her wrist.

I slowly crawled over to her and knelt in front of her. "I am so sorry, I went too far, I should never have laid a hand on you". I managed to hold my tears back. I would not allow myself to emotionally blackmail her into forgiving me.

She just laughed but there was no humour in her voice. "What are you talking about, you remember our deal. You nearly ruined all our hard work by being soft on me!" She exclaimed.

That was the moment where I lost my temper. "No! No more of this! I am not your master I am your partner and that is it!" I yelled out. I put my head in my hands and tried to breathe deeply.

"Can you not see how toxic this is? Every time someone is around I risk being put in a position where it is necessary for me to hurt you to keep up appearances. Being free is not worth this, can't you see that? It's killing me to act like this and I will have no part in it anymore". I felt tears spill down my face.

There was silence for a few minutes before Ash spoke. "What will you do when Odin comes tomorrow? He expects to see me beaten for dropping that glass". Her voice was quiet but unwavering.

"I don't know and I don't care. I will not be a monster again. It is not who I am. I love you, I understand what you are trying to achieve but it isn't worth it". I tried to get my tears under control but they continued to pour down my face.

I slowly got up off the floor and used my magic to clean up the glass, water and vomit that had been left behind. I began to pace but my vision was going blurry and I couldn't get enough air into my lungs.

I collapsed on the floor unable to breathe. It felt like my lungs were on fire and there was a persistent ringing in my ears. I was sure at that moment that I was going to die.

I closed my eyes tight and desperately fought to drag air into my lungs. I could hear someone talking but I couldn't hear what they were saying.

I felt myself being pulled into a warm embrace and could feel the person breathing normally against my back.

I tried my best to match their breathing. After a few minutes, I could breathe normally but I was exhausted and couldn't stop the torrent of tears streaming down my face.

"I'm so sorry" I heard Ash whispering over and over again. I didn't understand what she was apologising for, but I couldn't find the strength to ask.

I just opened my eyes and looked up at her, trying to convey my confusion with my expression alone. She sighed so I think she got the message.

" I knew that I could cope with this act, but I don't consider that it could trigger your trauma," she said. She wouldn't meet my gaze and a lone tear travelled down her cheek.

"You were forced to hurt people against your will. I'm so sorry, I didn't think this through". She pulled me closer to her chest.

I felt safe in her arms and was too exhausted to move. I wanted to comfort her but my eyes were too heavy so I quickly gave in and fell asleep.