Gold Rush | Ser Harwin

04.

Daerla

"I was surprised to see you come home in one piece," Aemma says as we walk arm in arm through the gardens.

Before Aemma Arryn was my brothers wife, she was my best friend. Aemma and I grew up together, her being a few years older, she is the only friend I'll ever need and I love her with all my heart.

"The Dothraki aren't that cruel," I reply. "So long as you don't steal their horses or their women. And luckily I did neither." Aemma grins back at me.

Her skin is glowing and I'm unsure if it's from the pregnancy or because it's warm out.

"How are you?" I ask, she doesn't look well. She looks worried. I hate seeing her worried. She looks into the distance and I see tears gather in her eyes.

"I'm scared, Daerla," she says softly. "If this child isn't a boy then I don't know what I'll do. More so, if this child doesn't survive. I have lost so many. I don't think I can do it again."

"The baby will be fine," I say trying to be reassuring. "And if he is a boy then we will rejoice and if she is a girl then we will still rejoice. Rhaenyra is a beauty and you did that."

"I was so young when Rhaenyra was born," she says thoughtfully. "15, imagine having a child at 15. Viserys chose me because of you, because he thought your best friend would make a good mother to you."

"Oh, Aemma," I say and rest my head in the crook of her neck. "I'm so sorry. My whole life has been such a disaster."

"Don't say that," she replies. "And I'm not mad at you, honestly. Rhaenyra is the greatest thing in my life and I do love Viserys. I just wish I could've been a child for longer. I'll just have to live through you."

"What do you mean?" I respond confused. "Why would you want to live through me? My life is terrible."

"Daerla!" She says. "You have travelled across the narrow sea and explored the lands. You have travelled with a Dothraki army and they didn't kill you. You are 25 years old and you have already lived."

"And now I'm stuck with Ser Harwin Strong," I sigh.

"You can pretend all you want that you don't like him," she says with a smile. "But I know you and I know how much you loved him all those years ago. That love doesn't just go away."

  "You don't know anything," I say slightly annoyed. "I don't love Ser Harwin. In fact I despise him. I hate him and I told him that and he was cool with it."

  Aemma pauses and turns to face me.

   "You told the love of your life that you hated him," she shakes her head. "You really are an idiot."

  "What!" I respond outraged. "I told him the truth. In case he thought that I had forgiven him for what he did."

  "What he did?" Aemma's face softens. "Ser Harwin was manipulated as much as you. His father is a menace when he wants to be. He loved you, I could see it from how he could never keep his eyes off you. You really think he would have willingly let them-"

  "Finish the sentence," I reply softly. I haven't heard someone say it ever. I wonder how those words sound when rolling off the tongue.