Gold Rush | Ser Harwin

19.

Daerla

"You'd think after the 5th child it wouldn't hurt as much," I say as sweat pours down my brow. Harwin and I were on our way to the hall for Vaemond contesting Lucerys legitimacy when my waters broke.

"Remember, this is the last baby," Harwin says and then the realisation hits me. This is my last baby. A tear rolls down my cheek, then another and another.

"Why would you say that?" i cry. Another contraction begins and I push. "Are they almost here?"

"One more push, my princess," the nurse says and I push even harder until I hear the baby cry. "It's a girl!" She hands the baby to me.

"She's perfect," I say and Harwin kisses me on the forehead.

~

"Good evening," I turn around as my daughter in law Klara walks in. I stand to hug her. "No, no, you sit. You have just had a baby. You deserve to rest." She walks to the other cradle and picks up Nyra, my first grandchild.

"I cannot believe I am a grandmother," I say as she comes and sits beside me. "I am getting old."

"You are not old, you have just had a baby, only young people can do that," she says. Nyra is 6 months old and is an absolute delight. Klara is an excellent mother.

  "How are you?" I ask as I hold onto my newborn baby girls hand. Her little fingers grip onto mine.

  "I should be asking you that question," she says with a smile. I think Klara's smile is the main reason Naerys fell in love with her. She has a beautiful smile. "But I am good, life is very good to me. And you? How do you feel after your fifth child?"

  "Sixth," I correct and Klara looks at me with a curious expression. "When I was 17 I had a daughter, she died moments after she was born."

  "Oh, I'm so sorry," Klara says.

  "Don't be," I say. "It was a long time ago." And it was. It was 28 years ago. It feels like another life ago.

"Even so, no matter how much time passes," Klara says. "Wounds can still be open. My brother died a few years ago. Not a day goes by when I don't think about him, think about what he would think of me now, if he would be happy that I married Naerys, If he would be proud of Nyra. So many questions and I'll never get the answers. It's difficult to accept. We just have to bare it, the best we can."

"You are very smart," I say. "Are we sure you're not actually my daughter?" She grins at me as the door opens and Harwin walks in.

"Are you ready for bed, my love?" He says and I nod before looking at my little girl. She looks so peaceful, so safe. The opposite to my first girl. Where would she be now? Would she be safe? I wonder if she knew I loved her.

Harwin scoops me into his arms before carrying me out of the room. We go to our bedchambers and he puts me into the bed before pulling the sheets over me.

"Do you ever think about our baby, the first one?" I ask as he gets himself ready for bed. He pauses and looks at me.

"Of course," he replies. "You shouldn't be thinking about her now. You should be sleeping. You have a healthy daughter."

"Viserys isn't a bad person," I say as I sit up. "He isn't. He has loved me and raised me. I don't think he would want to hurt me. I need to go and see him." I get out of bed and wince as I hobble along.

"Maybe in the morning?" He suggests and I shake my head.

"It must be now," I say and when I reach the door he scoops me up and carries me. "You're always carrying me." He smiles at me.

"And I always will," he kisses the top of my head.

He carries me to the Kings chambers and I knock on the door and there is no reply.

"He's probably in such a state that he can't reply," I say before opening the door.

"I'll wait out here," Harwin says and I kiss him on the cheek before hobbling inside.

The room is dark and it feels empty. A breeze blows through, sending the thin curtains blowing.

"Brother?" I whisper and I hear Viserys grunt. I walk to the side of the bed and sit on the edge. "Can you hear me?"

"Daerla," he says softly. I grab onto his hand. "Beloved sister."

"Hello brother," I say softly. "I'm sorry. You were a good brother. You weren't suppose to raise me. That shouldn't have been your job. But you did it anyway. I love you, Viserys." Tears gather in my eyes.

"I don't deserve it," he chokes out. His eyes are still shut. I don't know if he's in there. Maybe he's already gone.

"You do," I say and a tear rolls down my face. "You are a good person, you deserve all the love. You do."

"I deceived you," he whisper and I freeze.

"What?" I ask and my voice breaks. What has he done?

"The girl lives," he says and I take my hand from his before standing up and stumbling back.

I'm out of that room in seconds. Ignoring all the pain. I open the door and charge down the halls. Harwin follows behind.

"Daerla," he says as he tries to stop me. "Let me help you." I pause and turn to face him.

"The girl lives," I say simply and Harwin's face falls. Tears roll down my face and he quickly pulls me into a hug. His strong arms protect me. He'll always protect me.