Gold Rush | Ser Harwin

24.

Daerla

  When I wake I lean over only to find the bed cold. Harwin's dead. For a moment I forgot. I lie back down and stare at the ceiling. I'm not sure what time I ended up coming back up.

  I remember Lucerys saying goodnight and then I was sleeping.

  "Mama!" Andres runs in and climbs into bed.

  "Good morning, my sweet boy," I say and I pull him into my side. Andres just came running in for me. If i had gone last night he would have run in only to find me gone.

  I brush his dark hair off his forehead and kiss him at the top of his head.

  "Aerlia was calling for you," Daemos says as he walks in carrying my youngest baby.

  "Did you want me Aerlia?" I say and I put my arms out as Daemos hands her to me. She looks up at me with a grin across her face.

  There is a knock on the door and Daemos opens it. A young girl around Daemos' age walks in and curtsies  to me.

  "My Lady," she says before looking up at me. "Princess Rhaenys has arrived and she is asking for you to join them in the throne room."

  "Of course," I say. I watch as Daemos keeps his eyes on the girl. "Daemos." He snaps back into reality and walks over as the girl leaves. "Take the children to the kitchens for some breakfast, alright?"

  "Yes, mama," he replies and he takes Aerlia. As he leaves I see Viserys, my own brother, who raised me. I didn't have a father, he died when I was young. Viserys raised me because I didn't have anyone else. Daemos is doing the same thing. He is raising my children because I am half dead.

  I pull on a dress before walking slowly down to the throne room. The walls are quiet. Harwin isn't here. The world is quiet.

  I reach the throne room and everyone turns to look at me.

  "Daerla," Rhaenys says. "I'm so sorry about Harwin. I heard about what Aemond did. You should know Alicent was furious, she didn't want any of you hurt."

  "I don't care what Alicent wants," I snap. I'm angry. "Aemond killed my husband."

"I understand-" Rhaenys starts.

"No you don't!" I yell. "You have a husband, he isn't dead. He is alive and you just couldn't be bothered to see him. Harwin died in my arms and Corlys is alive so do not say you understand because you don't. You can't."

"I'm sorry," my aunt says and I look down at the floor. I'm ashamed at snapping at her.

  "What are you here for, anyway?" I ask as i look back up at her.

  "Viserys is dead," she says. I look at Daemon and Rhaenyra.

  "Oh," I say and I nod, understanding. My brother is dead. "That's, wow, that's happened." I nod over and over again. "Ok, that's ok." Tears stream down my face and I look away.

  "Daerla-" Rhaenys reaches for me and I flinch away.

  "No," I say and I look her in the eye. "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry." She takes me in her arms as I sob into her shoulder. "It's too much. It's too much."