Daddy Issues

Trust

Percy's POV) 

As I sat at the breakfast table, my mouth stuffed with french toast, I look over at my mom, who'd already finished hers. "... Do you think I should call the cops?" 

I choked on my food. "What?" 

She sighed. "I just... I'm worried about that boy, Nico? Something's not right at home. I just know it." 

"Well... I mean, he doesn't seem... Scared of his dad at all." I argued, shrugging. "I dunno. He doesn't seem like a bad guy. He let me stay in his house, remember? Back when we still lived across the street from him." 

"I know. But... Well, you never really know. That's the scary thing, they can be really nice to most people, and then..." She trailed off. 

I nodded. "... Well, if we call the cops, they could end up making the situation worse, so we need to be careful. I'll have to ask him about it soon." 

"Do you think he trusts you enough? To tell you something like that?" 

"I don't know. But I have to try." 

-

When I walked out to the street, I saw a beat up white Prius on the sidewalk. The driver was honking out shave and a haircut to get my attention, and when I looked closer, I realized it was Paul. He rolled down the window. "Hey sport, you want a ride to school? I've got an extra iced coffee with your name on it!" 

Without a second thought, I hopped into the passenger's seat and grabbed the extra cup of coffee. "Thanks, da-... Dude. Paul." My face started getting warm. 

"No problem, champ." 

I immediately started slurping it down. I may keep a six pack of Red Bull under my bed, but I wasn't technically allowed to have caffeine, so I always relished the opportunity. I got the feeling that Paul would be getting in trouble with my mom later today. 

"... So..." He cleared his throat. As I looked over, I saw that he was... Awkward around me. He had been since that fateful Tuesday morning. "... Look, I'm gonna cut right to the chase here, and tell you that... I know." 

I nearly did a spittake. "... Know what?" I asked. 

He sighed. "Everything. Your mother, she... Told me some things. Things that... Helped me make sense of your behavior last week. I..." He looked over at me, and I swallowed the mouthful of coffee that had been lingering in my mouth. "... I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry that you've had to go through all that. And that I... Reminded you of that. I didn't mean to, I promise." 

"It's... Ok. You're good." I replied awkwardly, wishing desperately that he'd change the subject. I don't wanna be talking about this, not on the way to school. It's gonna get all emotional, and then I'll show up to school looking like I've been crying, and all my friends are gonna flock around me asking what's wrong and if I'm ok, and I'll have to lie and say I'm fine. 

"I... I went too fast. If I'd known everything beforehand, I would've..." He sighed again. "... I dunno. I would've been more cautious." 

"It's ok. You don't have to feel sorry for me, and you don't have to treat me like I'm delicate. I'm not." 

"I know you're not, Friday night was proof enough of that. Congratulations on your coming out, by the way." He paused. "I just... I want you to feel safe around me." 

I felt guilty. I know that's unreasonable, but I still felt guilty. I felt guilty for not trusting him, even if it was only for a second. I know what it's like to lose someone's trust. And unlike Paul, that actually was my fault. I shouldn't've made so much noise, and then Atlas never would've woken up. It was a miracle that he forgave me. That he wasn't angry anymore. That he even considered me his friend. And now I'm stuck wanting more of him, his trust, his heart. I want what I can't have, everything I've ever wanted is something I can't have. Nico, a marine biology degree, a Maserati Spyder. There's no way I'm smart enough for something like that. Why can't I be happy with what I have already? Why can't I be content with Annabeth, and community college, and a used minivan? And now I'm not even thinking about Paul, even though he's right next to me. "... I do trust you." I say. "It's just... I don't know. I don't know what happened. I'm usually not like that."