Daddy Issues

The Invitation

Percy's POV) 

It was two weeks later. Well, a little over two weeks, since it was Saturday. After a lot of cookies and movies and therapy, I was ready to go back to school. Well, as ready as I'd ever be. I was in my room, watching the first snow of winter from my bedroom window, huddled up with my blanket over my shoulders and a cup of blue hot chocolate in my hand. Don't ask me how she did it, I'm not entirely sure. 

My stuffed shark was in my lap, even though for a few days, I couldn't stand to look at it. It twisted the knife, but now, that knife is gone, and my wound's been bandaged over. Now all that's left to do is wait until it turns into a scar, try not to agitate it too much. 

Do I forgive her? I don't know. But do I feel better? Absolutely. 

But... I almost feel bad about feeling better. Should I not have moved on so quickly? Does this mean I never really loved her? Or did I take too long, should I have tried to push through it like da-... Like Paul had suggested? Sure, it would've made me worse, but was I really bad enough to warrant a break like this? I've gone to school with broken ribs before (don't ask, I think you already know) but I can't go to school with a broken heart? 

Was she as upset as I was? Sure, she seemed happy, she seemed unscathed. But... Maybe she just hid it better than me. She didn't love me the way I loved her, for quite some time, and she stayed with me anyway. But here I am, acting like I'm the victim. Like I wasn't the reason she was miserable. It's only fair, I guess, that she made me miserable in return. and now I'm not quite so miserable anymore, and... That feels wrong. 

But... She cheated on me. She lied to me. She deserves to feel at least a little upset about that. 

I sighed, grabbing the shark and tossing it in the corner. So much for being over it, I guess. 

A knock on the door drew my attention away from my thoughts. "C'mon in." 

I watched her open the door, my dark room flooding with light. "Hey hon. I've got some good news." 

I perked up. "Finally!" 

She laughed. "I just published Scales of Justice. Took a little longer than we both expected, but I finally did it!" 

My face broke out into a grin. "Oh, wow! That's great! Congratulations!" I put my drink down, stood up, and went in for a hug. 

"There's more." 

"Really?" 

"Yeah. I, uh... I wanted to wait until you were in a better headspace. Basically, um... Paul left me a voicemail apologizing for, y'know... What happened. He wants to give it another shot, and... I kinda do too. But... I wanted to ask your input, since... We were basically fighting about you." 

"Oh, um... Wow. Ok..." I mean... I did miss him. I missed him so, so badly. But... Did I really want him in my life? Maybe my fears about him were justified. 

Then again... She was so fucking happy with him. And she was about to have his baby. And that baby would him in their life. And she would too. Sure, she's got me. And I'll be willing to help out with anything either of them need. But... I don't think she'd like the idea of her baby helping her raise her other baby. Even thinking about it for a second, it kinda reminds me of that buddy system bullshit the Duggars use. And my mother and I both have very strong opinions about the Duggars. I'm getting off topic again, sorry. 

Is it really fair for me to be afraid of him after one little mistake? To revoke my trust the minute he steps out of line? 

"Sweetie? You've been awfully quiet." 

I shrug. "I just need some time to think about it. Let's just celebrate for now, yeah?" For once, I actually felt like going out. I felt like taking her out for pizza, she's definitely earned it. But... Well, our budget was pretty tight.