IT ALL STARTED ON SET - Sadie Sink Female x female

shit

SHIT - part 12

still your POV

"i already ate but you can have anything." i answered to sadie.
"cant you hear me? what are WE eating for dinner?"
"i already ate sadie. i am not hungry."
"what did you eat?"
SHIT SHIT SHIT.
"sandwiches."
"when was the last time your dad was in the grocery store or something like that?"
"i dont know? a week ago, two? i have no idea where did this question came from?"
"so how did you eat sandwiches if you have no bread at home."
"we do."
FUCKING SHITTY FUCK. I AM SO FUCKING FUCKED UP OM FUCKING GOD.
"a few days ago your dad said that your out of bread and he has to buy some."
i looked at her. then i remembered something. i still can pull myself out of this situation.
"sadie i did eat, we are out of bread yes but i ate my sandwich with bagel okay? but ill eat with you then."
she looked at me worriedly. she didnt believed it but what can she do about it?

we ate dinner silently.
"i am sorry y/n but i am so worried about you okay? i noticed that you have been struggling with eating and i dont want anything bad to happen to you."
"i am fine sadie okay? dont worry about me."
"we should sleep. we have to wake up at 11am."
we talked then fell asleep.

tomorrow.
we walked in to the studio and went to our dressing rooms. millie came in just to talk like the typical how are you, what were you doing what are you going to do later etc then she went back to her dress room.

"lisa. we need lisa for this." lucas yelled.
"no we dont. we can do it without her." max disagreed.
"max please, we really need her. just try to work with her because we really cant do this without seven ok? we need her max, i need her." eleven said.
"cut!" it was amazing!

the camera men did some changes then we filmed the next scene.

"she will be here in a minute." will said.
"i dont know guys-" max tried to talk but they interrupted her.
"max stop it please. it wasnt good for you either when we left you out when you were tryna be one of us! and look at us now. we are saving the world together so please just stop." mike explained.
"did i missed something?" i walked in.
"no, n-"
"cut." they yelled.
the camera man showed something to matt then he looked at me then back to the camera.
no please not again.
"5 minutes break everone. y/n, can you please come here again."

i walked up to them.
"y/n.-"
"i am sorry."
"there is so much change between the first time we filmed this clip and the last. look at your face. you are not starving yourself arent you?"
i froze. fuck.
"no, of course not."
matt sighed.
"i am sorry y/n, please dont do this to yourself."
"i am not, im sorry." i said, trying to make them believe me. it wasnt working.
"and i am afraid that i have to tell your father about this this time okay?"
"uh of course, okay. but there is nothing to worry about!"
"go to the make up room." he made a soft smile so i wont feel that shitty. it didnt help.

i left and i looked at sadie from the corner of my eyes. she was starting at me.

i am so fucked up this time.

i tried not to cry. i went back, the filming was done and then i tried to get out of here as soon as its possible. i wanted to cry.
"hey y/n." no. i dont wanna talk with anyone."are you okay?" millie asked.
"of course!" i smiled.
"you sure?"
"yes, i am sure. my make up was ruined" i smiled again.
she hugged me then i run to my dad to the car.
"how was filming."
"it was okay."

we went home, we didnt really talked in the car. i dont really feel like talking.
i went to my room. as soon as i opened my door i started crying. i just cried and cried like a little baby. i dont even know why to be honest.
i am so tired of everything.

pressley was calling me. i ignored it. she started spamming me.
you havent write me all day are you okay?
y/n you okay?
are you okay?
y/n?

she called me again. i picked up, crying.
"im fucked up pressley."
"what happened."
"i am so fucked up press."
"y/n your scaring me whats going on?"
"i am so tired okay. i hate myself. i hate being attracted to girls. i hate my body, i hate how i look, i miss my mom and at the studio producers are noticed that-" i slowed down and lowered my voice. "they noticed that i lost weight. they will tell my dad."
"okay we will talk about the other things later but not this one. y/n we talked about this. you are too underweight and i know its hard to eat, i get it but please. you cant do this to yourself y/n please." her voice craks. she is sobbing. fuck.
"no press dont cry please."
"im sorry that i cant be there for you. i am sorry that i cant help you."
"no you are here for me. its not your fault that you cant be next to me. i am sorry for telling you everything at once."
"y/n just please, i know i cant say that but for me please try to eat. slowly try to eat more and more."
"i am sorry." i cried "i am so sorry press."

i cired myself to sleep that night. whats gonna happen next? im gonna disappoint my dad. again.

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