IT ALL STARTED ON SET - Sadie Sink Female x female

at filming

AT FILMING - part 23

your POV

millie invited me to lunch with her and noah. i think we are going to mcdonalds. i am so scared but right now i have no time to stress about it. i said it to myself for the 100th today.

i packed my things and went to the make-up room. they did some make up on my face, just for the better experience in the show.

"you dont get it steve!"
"i do lisa, you have had a very bad past. i can admit it."
"whats going on?" eleven walked in.
"nothing." we answered at the same time.
"is she-, are you crying lis?"
"no." i started to walk out.
"wait. whats going on?"
"she thinks that we think she is lying."
"i dont think that you are lying. i believe you lisa, ive been there, i know that you are telling the truth." el comforted me and i tried to not more cry, like in real life because i should be just angry by now.
"lisa, i am sorry i didnt meant to say these things okay?" steve came closer.
"no steve, you are right to be honest. if you all just dont want me in the group fucking tell me," i yelled. "you all hate me and i know that i wont ever fit in as much as everyone because you just" i shouted." "you just met me. but please dont play with me and if you hate me tell me and i will leave!" i cried. i still wasnt suppose to.
"we dont hate you li-"
"dont? look at max! she is avoiding me like i am some kind of sovjet, look at mike. every time when i tried to make a conversation with him, he acts annoyed and is dry with me, lucas doing the same like i am not helping you to destroy their whole plan and stop the upsidedown!" i broke down. i can cry out my feelings during filming, its actually helpful i guess.
"lisa."
"no okay? no. if you need my help i will help you but not if you all treat me like shit." i walked out of the 'room'.
"shit!" steve yelled.
"cut! it was so good, y/n you did so well here, your improvised it so well."
i just smiled at matt and then i ran to my 'room' before anyone notices.

i closed my doors and completely lost control of my feelings. i just cried, i tried to be quiet.
i wanna be dead so fucking bad.

"y/n?" i heard millies voice.
shit shit shit!
i quickly wiped my tears away. i tried to not exactly look at her, and specially not to make eye contact with her.
"hm?"
"can i come in? are you alright?"
i couldnt talk. "mhm."
"whats up y/n?" she asked softly, walking closer to me as she opened the door.
i slowly turned to her way, looking down.
"y/n" she hugged me. i was sobbing but i tried no to cry.
i just wanst able to not cry.

she hugged me. "sorry." i whispered.
"for what?"
"i didnt want to seek attention, i didnt want you to see this."
"this is not attention seeking y/n, you know that i am here for you anytime when you need it, asking for help is not attention seeking." she comforted me.
"i dont need help i just, i am on my period and feelings are kicking in." i laughed.
"haha i got it" she smiled then she sat down next to me."
"i am sorry millie, i am such a cry baby." i awkwardly laughed again.
"you are not! wanna talk about what happened?"
"i am just stressful, thats it."
"are you sure?"
"yes, thank you."
she hugged me again.

we talked a bit, i didnt open up to her about my mom or my eating problems. only about moving stress and making friends and things like that.

"do you need anything? like anything?"
"nope, not really."
"okay, then get ready, noah probably gonna wait for us in 5 minutes."
"are you done with everything you wanna do before we leave?"
"yes, why?"
"can you stay here while i put on some make up, then we can go together to the door."
"of course."

i quickly did everything i wanted and then we left. i dont wanna be alone right now.

we ate mcdonalds, just how i thought. after lunch noah bought us some oreo mcflurry so i had to eat dessert too.

then we were back at filming. we are jumping between the scenes like at 10am we are filming the end of the 4th chapter, and afternoon we are filming the beginning of the 2th.

almost everyone was here from the party this time. us (millie and the others who just filmed) are gonna be done by 1pm but sadie and the others (gaten and maya) are gonna be done by 5pm.

"eleven is probably at the russians. they took her or i dont know but we dont know where they are, i mean the suvjets. i cant see them and im afraid that they are blocking their place."
"what do you mean by blocking it?" max asked.
"its a shell from everything, from every power. i cant see them by using my power, and no one can use any power in the shell. el cant warn us unless she turned it off."
"shit."
"and bc i cant find them they are probably protecting themself from us, or more like from everyone. if we go there i may pass out because of the protection. i mean because of my power."
"so that means that eleven may be there, passed out?" mike started panicking.
"maybe. but i am not 100% sure. maybe she is not passed out, maybe she is not even there."
"this is just a thought." will said.
"yes. exactly."
"so if we find it and go there, you will be in a bigger danger than us?"
"not exactly. ill be in danger because i am a ran away toy of them but they may catch you all and make you be one of us. or probably 'just' kill you all. but its not like in the old time. they probably updated them self. their abuses is worst i think."
"they will kill us." dustin said.
"yes, probably. so what are we gonna do now? we need to find el!" mike answered.

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