✓ 𝐂𝐥𝐚𝐢𝐫 𝐝𝐞 𝐥𝐮𝐧𝐞

14 | clair de lune

"Dance with me," He whispered into my ear as he took the curve of my waist into his hands.

We sway to the piano, smiling at each other as he danced across the floor of the living room. It was just us, finally.

His skin was soft and his hands were gentle. His eyes were bright and shiny and his hair was laid delicately over her forehead. How I wish this moment could last forever. His voice was smooth as it flowed like water from his mouth and his teeth shined in the dim lighting.

"Your honor, I am deeply sorry and I feel incredible remorse for all the suffering and worry I have caused. I do not blame anyone but myself and for that, I want to apologize to all the families I have hurt and robbed. I robbed families of their children, their love, and their happiness. Nothing in the world can bring them back and I am truly sorry. I don't know what caused me to do what I did or why it happened so often. I don't know why I continued to hurt people and hurt families. I don't know why I was the way I was or why I had these breaks. I want to know your honor. I want help."

He pauses, swallowing then flipping the page.

"I wish I could have sought out the help I needed but I didn't. I don't want anything but to rot in prison. I deserve the pain I put these innocent people and families through. I deserve everything that is thrown my way. I deserve nothing but pain and suffering for what I did. If maybe I thought about what I was doing then maybe I would have stopped, but I didn't. I didn't feel anything and I didn't do anything to stop it."

He flips the page once more.

"I will take whatever sentencing with great honor."

I sit there with my head down, Sao, who now I've learned name is Gabriel, next to me with his hands clasped in his lap.

It's been 3 months since the police had found me on the street. It was also the worst 3 months of my life.

I went through countless hours of therapy and training just to remember my name. My goddamn name. I was incredibly embarrassed that one man could do so much mental damage on a person that they forget their name.

I spend nights crying myself to sleep remembering the sound of his voice when he said Larissa vs. Emma. Sometimes I even wished my name was Larissa instead of Emma.

I spent months preparing for the trial, months talking to the lawyers, and months of writing down everything I remembered. Months upon months I was reminded of the horrors of that house. Months that felt like years.

We were asked to talk upon the plaintiffs about our experience while we were stuck in that house. If only my mother could see where I was right now. I'm not sure if she would be proud or terrified.

I had to prepare a speech for the trial and as many times as I had practiced and read it, it didn't feel like it was me. It felt as if it was a different story of another victim, not me.

"I was told to read from the script, and to follow my lines, but isn't that just what I did at Mr. Williams's house? I followed his rules and I did what he said for me to do. I was his puppet, his doll, his toy. And I hated that feeling. So I won't be reading off the papers, but instead talking about my own story, not the one they told me to say."

I swallow, then look up at the judge.

"My name is Emma Ogawa. Not Larissa. I was stolen and kidnapped by Noah Williams and forced to live under his command and rules. He did nothing but scare me and torment me. He wasn't a normal, healthy man. Your Honor, he was insane. He was bipolar most of the days and every hour he would switch moods. He went from angry, to sad, to happy, to loving. He manipulated me and Gabriel into thinking he loved us, but he didn't. He loved the idea of us, the idea of having company in his life. The idea of having a family."