"he has persuasive lips but terrible motives."
a story about young people navigating love, friendship, drugs and becoming an adult.
content warnings: mature content and descriptions of drugs, suicide and overdose.
edited in dec 2022.
Isabella had made plans to meet up with Estee at her house but she decided to swing by Nick's to buy some more pills. She had been all out but she had been with Fuckshit and the boys so there hadn't been any time to stock up. She knocked on the door and he opened it and let her in. He smiled, as always, and said he was happy to see her again.
"You really made that bag last this long?" Nick asked while going through his stash to prepare her usual order.
"Nah, I've been out a while now."
"Why didn't you come by sooner? You know I always have something for you."
"I was busy."
He gave her the bag of xanax and she swallowed two down quickly. Hhe gave him the cash, just enough to cover for it. It had been hard keeping up with her spending habits.
"We hanging or what?"
"Sorry, I gotta get go." She replied as she shook her head.
"Fine, fine. Come see me soon though?"
"I will."
She moved towards the door but he stopped her by grabbing her arm. Nick moved in to kiss her but she didn't want it. Even though she had made out with Nick before, it was only to try to forget about Fuckshit. Isabella moved away from him and he frowned, she was with Fuckshit now and she didn't want anyone else.
"What's up with you?"
"I just... I don't want to. iIm with someone now."
She decided not to mention who, it seemed easier that way. Nick raised his eyebrows and looked at her with surprised features. Isa was relieved to tell him that she was with someone because then he would stop flirting with her. Now they could just be friends.
"Alright, alright. I get it." He held up his hands in defeat. Isa really hoped he wouldn't get mad about it. she still needed him to get her pills, without him she had no plug.
"I'll see you soon." she replied.
"Yeah... see ya."
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When Isabella came to Estee's house she could feel that the xans had started to kick in. They sat in Estee's room listening to some music while talking. It had been a while since they caught up. She felt guilty about not telling her about what had been going on but there hadn't been any good opportunities to say it. Isa decided not to bring up the mess about halloween and Angela though, it was old news now anyways.
"I'm kinda seeing Fuckshit right now."
"What? since when?" Estee could barely believe what she was hearing.
"Since like... now."
"You bagged a player? Damn, I'm impressed."
Isabella laughed at Estee's words but it was true. How did she make the towns fuckboy want to settle down and not fuck around anymore?
"I'm not really surprised though. You know, Fuckshit isn't really friends with girls. He's nice to them so he can fuck them but you two... No girl has ever really hung out with Fuckshit and the rest of the boys like that."
"No one?"
"Nope, those guys are close knit."
"Yeah, that's true."
"I'm happy for you."
"Thanks Estee. I guess I'm anxious to see if he can commit, you know?"
Isa looked down as she spoke. She didn't want to throw him under the bus but Fuckshit didn't have the best dating history, from what she heard he had never been in anything close to a real relationship. It seemed like he had gone through girl after girl for years now without any desire to stay loyal to anyone.
"Well if there's someone he's gonna commit to, then it's you. Besides, I heard he started turning girls down ever since like... halloween or something. So maybe he's ready for it?" Estee's words made her so happy. had fuckshit avoided sleeping with other girls after halloween?
"Let's hope so."
"So..." Estee continued and Isa could tell she had something to say.
"Have you been buying anything more from Nick?"
Isabella had to decide what she wanted to say quickly. Was it best to tell the truth or lie? Was she going to worry about her if she said yes?
"No, I haven't. It was a one time thing."
"Okay cool."
"I used to do a lot of shit before I moved here, but I've calmed down since then."
After lying to Estee about seeing Nick, she wanted to share something new. Tell her something about herself that she hadn't told Estee before. Not many knew about her past experiences with drugs. The only people who knew about it were Ray and Fuckshit. Just before she moved to LA she overdosed, which was the final straw for her mother to send her away. It wasn't pretty waking up in a hospital bed feeling like shit and being told you almost died from mixing alcohol and pills. It wasn't like it was anything out of the ordinary, many kids their age used drugs to cope with life. almost everyone smoked at least.
"I didn't know that. But you got it under control now?"
"Yeah yeah, of course. I got it under control."
Isabella thought she had it under control, at least for now. One wrong move could set her down a bad spiral again but she didn't want to think about that.
