not from here - mid90s

eighteen.

Isabella woke up in the same place she had fallen asleep, on the floor of her room. It was cloudy outside and no sunshine could be seen peeking through the clouds. She felt hungover and her head was pounding. She reached for her purse she had brought with her to the party and she took a few xans. When she got up her body felt stiff from sleeping on the floor all night. In her closet she took out a t-shirt and a pair of sweatpants and changed out of the dress from the night before. Memories of Nick touching her, blood running and Fuckshit running off came up in her mind.

She needed something more to ease the headache so she went downstairs to the kitchen.

"Oh good, you're up!" Her father said while doing some dishes in the kitchen.

"Good morning." 

"I left for that fishing trip today, remember?" She nodded but she didn't remember it. Opening the fridge she took out some juice and poured herself a glass. Her body felt weak and she sat down by the kitchen table. Her dad finished up and then went out in the hallway, packing up his stuff. 

"Alright, see you in a few days. I left a number by the phone if you need me."

"Okay, bye..." He always acted like there was nothing wrong. It was like he wanted to forget that they hadn't had a relationship in years. The door closed and now she was alone again but she didn't mind, it was easier that way.

Isabella finished her juice before she moved over to the phone. It was already 2pm and hopefully the boys would be up... She dialed Ray's number and waited for him to pick up but he didn't answer. She ended the call and pressed in the number again, still no answer. She hung up and called Motors, maybe they had made their way there? No answer there either. Nervousness grew and her body started to feel shaky. She put the phone back on the hook and went back upstairs to her room.

Where were they? Why didn't they pick up? Were they ignoring her? She turned her purse upside down and let its contents fall onto the floor. A lip gloss, gum, a lighter, her pills and a bag of powder. She made a small white line with it on her nightstand and rolled up the same dollar bill she had used the previous night.

Fuck..." she mumbled after she snorted. Isabella was interrupted by the phone ringing downstairs. On shaky legs she got up and ran down to get it.

"Hello?" Oh how she hoped to hear Fuckshit's voice on the other side of the telephone line.

"Hey stranger, where did you go last night?" 

"Oh hey Estee, we just went home early, the boys got tired." Isabella sniffled as she lied to her friend. She didn't want to talk about what had happened. She didn't want to have to relive the memories of Fuckshit storming off.

"Ahh you did? I was looking for you but then me and Zoe went to some lame ass afterparty."

"You did?"

"Yeah, I mean it was alright. Zoe got together with, you know Tommy? Yeah, so I was third wheeling all night." Isabella tried to listen but her mind was getting hazy, her high had now kicked in. She heard a knock on the door and turned her head.

"Can I call you back Estee? Someone's at the door." She didn't wait for a reply before she hung up. Isa made her way through the kitchen and into the hallway to open the front door. There he was, curly hair underneath his usual black beanie and clad in the same outfit as the previous night. Maybe he hadn't been home yet?

"Hey." He said, voice low and face serious.

"Hey." She stepped back and opened the door to let him into the empty house.

"My dad left to go fishing for a few days..." 

"About last night..." He didn't waste any time, so he cut the small talk short.

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have lied to you... I guess I wanted to show everyone that I could handle myself, with and without it."

"And what about Nick?"

"He kissed me once, but it was before you and I were together. And I told him I didn't want to do anything with him because I was with you." She could see a strain of anger in his face when she spoke, she didn't know if it was towards her or Nick. She knew that Fuckshit could be quite a jealous guy.

"How long you been buying?" She exhaled slowly, looking away from him. Their conversation seemed more like an interrogation than anything.

"Since Halloween." She sniffled and he moved closer to look at her. Green eyes looked at her and Fuckshit could see that her pupils were dialated. He was disappointed to see it.

"You're doped up right now? Seriously?"

"I'm fine Fuckshit!"

"You're not fucking fine! Last night, nick could've fucking hurt you. He's fucking dangerous and you were high."

"I can hold my own! It seems like I always fucking have to..." Isabella moved closer to him and was up in his face. Her mood switched and she wasn't going to just stand there and take his shit.

"Because you know why? You do all the sweet talking but as soon as things get hard then you run away." Isabella's words were harsh but they were true. 

"That's bullshit." He stood there, still keeping his gaze locked on her.

"You saw how Nick acted towards me, but as soon as he opened his big mouth you believed him before me? You stormed off like you had just seen me suck his dick or something!" Now she was yelling at him.

"I thought..."

"Yeah, you thought some shit instead of talking to me." Isabella pushed at his chest, feeling the sadness build within. Why couldn't he believe her?

"Hell, the rest of the boys didn't doubt me, they knew I would never fuck with anyone else but you. But you couldn't fucking trust me..."

"I just needed time! I found out you had been doing shit behind my back. Did you do drugs when you were at my place huh? Did you sneak off to get high?"

His green eyes watched her but she didn't answer. They both knew the answer to his question anyway. Isabella sniffled and then she felt blood starting to run down from her nostril, she wiped it away quickly but it kept on going.

"Fuck! I can't do this if you're gonna be like this. I have to know you're not gonna go off do some stupid shit because your high."

"You can't do this?" A scoff left her lips. She pulled the bottom of her shirt and pressed it against her nose to collect some of the blood.

"You just want a reason to get out of this. fine, I won't stop you Fuckshit. Go back to fucking girls and living the life, I don't fucking care."

"You want me to go?"

"Do what you want Fuckshit. You'll walk away sooner or later." With that, he turned around and walked out. She fell down on the sofa, keeping her nose up to keep the blood from dripping.

Now they were over for real.