Right Place, Wrong Time

14. Feels Like Forever

"Very original," Joey said, when he and Lauren came to a stop in front of Ben and Jerry's. "Very adventurous."

Lauren laughed, and pulled him in off the sidewalk to join the short queue. "I worked here freshman year."

"You did?"

"Yeah, me and Dylan," she said. "We'd give free ice cream to all our friends. The manager was pissed when she found out."

Joey laughed. "Damn, I wish I knew you then."

"So do I," she said softly, looking up at him. She hadn't meant to change the tone, but she found herself wondering a lot what might have happened if she had met Joey years ago. She already felt as though she'd known him much longer than the five months she really had, so she could only imagine the closeness of their relationship had they been friends for years.

He looked back at her, his eyes a mix of sadness and kindness and yearning, so strong it made her feel dizzy. Warmth spread through her as he put his hand on her back and took a step closer. But then the person in front of them was served and they were called up to order. Still with his hand on her back, he led her up to the counter. He paid for both their ice creams, and they took them over to a table, where he pulled out a chair for her and let her sit down first. Her stomach churned with guilt at how much she'd allowed this to become like a real date. She'd agreed to it because she didn't know how she could have said no, not when he was always so good to her. It had felt harmless at the time, but now she realised how much she could be hurting him by letting things escalate like this. The worst part was, she knew she'd actually be having a nice time if she allowed herself to. And there was a reason she'd changed out of the t-shirt and jeans she'd originally planned to wear. But they couldn't date. He meant too much to her.

"I did meet you at a really good time though," she said, as if there hadn't been any interruption to their previous conversation.

"Really?" he said, his mouth full of ice cream.

She paused with her spoon digging into her own scoop. She hadn't wanted this conversation to get heavy. But if she didn't say something now, it would feel too much lying. She wanted to tell him.

"I took a year out of school," she said. "I was dealing with... mental health stuff."

He reached out for her hand, laying his on top. "I'm so sorry."

"You don't need to apologise. I did what I needed to do, and this year I felt ready to come back, but I was still worried about it." She took a breath, and looked up at his earnest and concerned eyes. "And... then I met you."

He smiled slightly, squeezing her hand, and it already felt like the right decision to open up to him.

"It's clinical depression, you know, no one can just fix it. But you've helped a lot, more than I can tell you. I'm really, really glad I met you when I did."

Joey now seemed at a loss for words, and panic fluttered through her chest as she wondered if this might have been too much to put on him. But then he gave her a soft smile.

"You're like the bravest person I know, Lo." She felt her cheeks going warm again, and had to look down. He squeezed her hand again and let go. "Are you gonna eat your ice cream before it melts, or should I?"

The juxtaposition made her laugh, and it was exactly what she needed. He had his chin in his hand, staring at her, and she wondered if this was the look that everyone else noticed too, but she pushed that thought aside. She needed him to be her friend. With a weight lifted off her shoulders, she pulled her cup out of his reach and tucked in happily.

"So... you're okay?" he said gently.

She was stirring the last little bit of her ice cream around, too melted to be appetising. She looked up at him, melting herself at the concern on his face.