Right Place, Wrong Time

44. Without You

Even acutely aware of the time slipping away from them, the end crept up on Lauren. Graduation arrived, everyone around her celebrating while she wanted to ask how they didn't want time to stop too. A day later Joey was helping her pack up to move. The last two years spent together, and it came down to this day.

"I was so proud watching you cross that stage," he said, as he stacked her books into cardboard boxes and she folded her clothes into suitcases.

Her hands lost the crease she'd been making. "You came?"

He shrugged, smiling shyly. "I had to."

"Thanks," she murmured. She wished she'd known he was there, though it would have been impossible for her to find his face in the crowd. She could have at least sought him out afterwards, but she supposed he didn't want to intrude on her celebrations with her class and her family.

"You did it," he said, pride spilling out of him even now.

"Yeah," she said, shrugging herself. She forced herself to meet his eyes, so kind and warm and inviting. "Maybe I couldn't have done without you."

"You would have done." There was total confidence in his voice. "But I'm glad I was here."

Now she had to look away from his gaze, and they both fell back into silence as they packed.

Usually, silences between them were comfortable. The last two years of close friendship left them at ease with one another. Now, though, the silence was filled with the looming goodbye, and before she realised it was happening Lauren's face was soaked with tears. She wiped her cheeks and sniffed, the sound making Joey look up, and she couldn't even attempt to tell him she was okay before he had his arms around her, a band aid to a gaping wound.

"I hate this," she said, voice choked.

"I know." His own voice cracked, and when she looked up at him his eyes were filled with tears.

Gently, he pulled her to sit on her bed, already stripped of its bedding. His arms stayed around her, and she wrapped hers around him too, the pair of them clinging on like they were each other's life rafts.

"I don't want to say goodbye," she whispered.

"I know," he murmured, his hand stroking her arm. "But it's time for the whole world to see how incredible you are."

She let go only to wipe her eyes again. "I wish you could come with me."

"Me too. But you can't let anything hold you back. You've got this. You've been preparing for this for years. Before you even met me."

She could only shake her head. Everything had changed when she met him, and it was impossible for her to re-enter the exact mindset of the girl she had been before. She was pretty sure moving to New York was still what she wanted, but she didn't know what she was supposed to do without him. It wasn't as easy as just moving on.

"Come on," he said gently, pulling her to standing. "Let's finish up here."

She would have preferred to stay there with him until Julia dragged her out, but she owed it to him to make this as easy as possible. The entire time, she kept shooting glances at him, her heart breaking a little at everything about him she'd come to take for granted. The way he pushed his hair back. The sureness of his hands. The way he looked at her and made her feel like she was capable of so much more than she believed by herself.

Finally, and yet too soon, they were done with everything, Joey carrying most of it downstairs to Lauren's protestations. They ended up back in her now empty bedroom, the only sign she'd been there at all the darkened patch of carpet where she'd spilled a drink.