Right Place, Wrong Time

65. Life Partners

The next day was spent with Joey's family, and they drove back to his parents the morning after. Lauren insisted on starting the drive this time, and they switched about a third of the way in. Both of them were exhausted going to bed that night, but Joey must have been more tired than he thought, because he was surprised to wake up and find Lauren not in bed next to him, but curled up in the chair in the corner of his room, reading.

She didn't notice he was awake, at first, so he watched her. She had her glasses on, her hair piled on top of her head, messy. She was wearing one of his sweatshirts, only her fingers poking out of the ends of the sleeves to hold her book. She wore a look of deep concentration, and he wondered what she was reading, but he couldn't see the title from where he was.

Slowly, though, he realised she wasn't actually reading at all. Her eyes were fixed on the page, unmoving. As he was figuring out how to ask if she was okay without startling her, she looked up at him, and realised he was looking back at her.

"Hi," she said, smiling as if she'd been caught out, though he was the one who'd been staring. But the smile didn't reach her eyes.

"Morning, beautiful," he said, voice thick with sleep.

Her cheeks turned pink. "You don't normally sleep this late."

"I was too busy looking at you to fall asleep last night."

She rolled her eyes, smiling again, but it quickly faded. He climbed out of bed, and bent down to kiss her forehead.

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah," she said.

"You seemed really lost in thought."

"It's a good book," she said, holding it up, her finger marking her page.

Maybe he'd been mistaken. He shook off his concern. "I think I recognise this sweatshirt," he said, plucking at the fabric.

She pretended to keep reading, smirking. "Really?"

"Mhm. In fact, it looks exactly like the one I put away from my laundry last night."

"How bizarre." Her eyes kept scanning the page, pretending to read another line.

His hand darted out to tickle her and she squealed, falling to one side, revealing what his sweatshirt had been hiding — her wearing his underwear.

He bit his lip before his groan alerted his parents. "Did you leave your suitcase behind? Because these are definitely mine."

She shook her head. His hand slid down from her side.

"You know what, just keep all my stuff forever."

"Yeah?" she said, biting her lip as she looked up at him.

"You look so fucking good."

And if nothing had been wrong, he would have taken her back to bed that instant. But her smile dimmed once again, leaving her looking as serious as she had when he woke up. He frowned, squeezing into the chair with her and pulling her into his lap. She'd been quiet since the wedding, and he thought it was her social battery having been drained. But now it seemed like something more.

"What's wrong?" he asked gently.

She marked her place with a bookmark, closing the book and setting it aside, and sighed. "Nothing."

He made his voice even softer. "Is this about you leaving?"

Their week together was already half over. In a few more days it was his birthday, and the day after that she was going back home. It wasn't enough time, and he was feeling the pain of that, even while he tried to enjoy the time they had.

But she shook her head, staring down at her lap.

"Baby," he said. He didn't want to force her to tell him anything, but it killed him to see her upset and have no idea how to fix it.

She chewed on her lip. Someone outside started their lawnmower. When she did speak, in a whisper, he had to lean closer to hear her.

"Do you think you'd be okay with never getting married?"

Her solemnity since the wedding suddenly made sense. "Is this because of what my aunt said? She wasn't serious. Don't even think about it."

"Kind of," she murmured, pulling her hands further inside the sleeves of his sweatshirt. "But it's still important."

"It's not," he said, stroking her hip.

"Not now. But in a few years..."

"Nothing will change."

"You said you wanted to get married."

"Yeah, I... I did." Not in so many words, but clearly she remembered that party as well as he did. And his view hadn't changed since then; he would still like to get married. But that didn't mean he needed to get married. Not when he had her.

"What if I decide I don't want those things?" she said, before he could try to sort those thoughts into words. "What if I don't want to get married, or... or have kids." She paused. "Ever."

He tightened his grip on her, tilting her chin up to look at him. "Lo," he said softly, to buy himself a moment, scared that if he didn't think about what he said here he could mess things up even more. Her eyes were wide, nervous, as he began to speak.

"I always wanted to get married because I grew up watching my parents' marriage. I saw how happy they were together, how much they supported each other, how much they loved each other. And I wanted that. There was never a person attached to it. And then I met you."

"You changed my fucking world. I'd never felt a love like this before you. I could never love anyone else like this, like... like my heart has to double in size every day to keep up with every new way you make me fall in love with you."

He felt her hand then, shaky on his chest, resting over his heart, and emotion rose in his throat, choking him.

"I love you," he said, voice cracking on the word. "And I will always love you. You're my person, whether we get married or not. Of course I've thought about marrying you. You're the love of my life. But it doesn't matter if we never do, as long as I get to love you. And make you happy. Because just these last few months have been the happiest of my life. It feels like... it feels like I was born to love you. Like this is what I'm meant for. Nothing feels as right as this."

Tears spilled over her cheeks and she closed her eyes, resting her forehead against his. It wasn't just her hand that was trembling now; her whole body was, and he felt like his was too.

"And maybe that's coming on way too strong," he said, a little late to take it back now, but to his relief she let out a teary half-sob, half-giggle. "But I need you to know," he said firmly. "I need you to know that I love you with my whole heart, and that I'll be here as long as you'll have me."

"Forever," she whispered, her voice cracking. "You're still my forever person. I know that."

"So even if we didn't get married, you'd still want to spend the rest of your life with me?"

"Yeah", she whispered, nodding. "Life partners."

"That's all I care about," he promised. "All I need is you, Lo."

She opened her eyes to look at him, their foreheads still pressed together, as if making sure he really meant it. But he'd laid the entire truth out for her. Every other dream he'd ever had paled in comparison to the dream he was living, the one where she was his.

"Okay," she whispered finally.

Her eyes remained far away from him for a moment, but then she kissed him, bringing herself back to him. He held her face in his hands, deepening the kiss. She broke it only to whisper two words in his ear, so, finally, he took her back to bed, pulling his sweatshirt over her head, and his underwear over her hips.