Right Place, Wrong Time

30. Could Have Been

Lauren's thoughts seemed perpetually stuck on that night with Joey. She couldn't stop thinking about what he said to her, his face when he called her pretty, the way his voice forced her into believing it. He couldn't be saying that when he had a girlfriend, and she knew he'd probably feel guilty if he had been aware of what he said. And she worried about why he was in that state in the first place. But the memory of it still flooded her with warmth, the reminder that she did still mean something to him, that she hadn't been replaced.

She wondered how his girlfriend would feel about it. Grateful someone had been looking out for him, she hoped. That's how she would feel. But if she knew how Lauren really felt, how much she wished Joey had agreed to sleep in her bed, where she could lay her head on his chest and let his heartbeat lull her to sleep...

It was lucky Joey was too respectful for that. He had insisted on the couch, respecting the boundaries that Lauren herself wouldn't have. It was no wonder someone else got there before she could. Who wouldn't fall in love with Joey? Now she was left with the great regret of not telling him sooner. Maybe if she had, he would be with her right now, napping as she read, her fingers in his hair soothing him to sleep. Physically, she was curled up in her bed; mentally, she was trying to lose herself in the pages of the book she hadn't gotten far with the other night to distract herself, because if she kept thinking about him like this, she was never going to get over him. A knock on her door cut through the comfort of both.

"Come in," she called, but the door opened before she reached 'in', Julia's head poking round it.

"Are you busy?" she asked.

"Well, I was in the middle of a chapter," Lauren said, holding up the book she'd been reading. Julia reached out and plucked it from her grasp.

"Now you're coming with me."

"You're lucky I remember what page I was on." Lauren stood up. "Where are we going?"

"To the mall," Julia said. "I have to do Christmas shopping and I haven't seen enough of you."

"You know I can't refuse a trip to the mall," Lauren said, grabbing her coat from the closet and pulling on a pair of boots.

Julia looped her arm through hers, and the two girls made their way to the bus stop. The air was bitingly cold, inching closer to the deepest part of winter, but they were lucky that their way was clear of snow.

"I'm glad you dragged me out," Lauren told her friend.

"Dragged?"

"Dragged. But I missed you."

"I missed you. You've been too busy with Joey for me."

Lauren spluttered, but tried to calm herself, knowing Julia would blow any reaction out of proportion. "I've barely seen him either."

"Apart from when he slept at ours."

"On the couch," Lauren said pointedly.

"Only because he insisted."

Lauren sighed. Sometimes being so candidly honest with Julia backfired on her. "And it was the right thing for him to do. He has a girlfriend, remember?"

She tried to play it off lightly, but it was something she thought about in most of her waking moments. She wasn't sure if it was better or worse that she didn't even know who the girlfriend was, what she looked like, how she treated Joey. They told each other a lot, but that was a topic they both avoided as much as possible.

"Well, we're not thinking about any of that today," Julia said, squeezing her arm. "It's girls' day."

"Perfect," Lauren said.