I'm sorry

12. Diary

💭By dreamer💭

Izuku's POV.

I was sitting at my desk. Thinking, Thinking about everything Dabi said and everything that happened. I killed my own mother. The thought alone brings tears in my eyes. I know that i will never be able to forgive myself for that. Maybe Kacchan was right, i should've jumped off the roof that day. Then my mom would still be alive. No i can't think like this. I'm a hero for gods sake, but then again a hero doesn't kill his own mother or his sister. No, Izuku no. Stop thinking like that, my therapist told me that thinking too much is bad. What should i do? 

I looked around my room and my eyes land on my notebooks. That's right she told me that starting a dairy could help. I grabbed a notebook that was still empty and opened it on the first page. I grabbed a pen and started writing or at least that was the plan. I couldn't think of anything to start with. How do you start writing in a dairy? I decided to introduce myself before i talk about what happened. Here i go.

Dear diary, My name is Izuku Midoriya.

I'm 15 years old.

And my life is a complete mess.

It started when I was 4 years old. My dad started drinking and being abusive to me and my mom. It wasn't that bad back then. He only yelled a lot and sometimes he would break something on purpose. When I was 5, the doctors told me and my mom that i was quirkless. Only then my dad started to hit us. But that was okay because i deserve it, my mom didn't but i did. I am quirkless, so i am useless. 

At least i still had my best friend, Kacchan. Or that's what i thought. When i told him i didn't have a quirk he also started to turn on me. Just like my dad. He would bully me and  he would exclude me. But not as bad as it is now. I wish i could go back to those times. Where me and Kacchan were still friends. At least then i didn't have these stupid feelings.

Anyway, when i was 6 years old i started to get sick. I would cough up blood and wouldn't been able to breath anymore. Sometimes when it is bad i even have some kind of attack and it would hurt so much. My mom took me to the doctor and they did some tests. Right after they told me that i had some kind of rare disease. They gave me a bracelet and told me when the light is red i have to stop everything i'm doing and sit down otherwise i can die. And when i would have a panic attack or i couldn't breath anymore i had to take medication through insulin pens. I still do actually but i don't need it often.

I closed my new dairy and stood from my desk. I don't feel like writing much more. I feel so tired, so empty. I miss my mom. I sat on my bed and cried myself to sleep like i always do.

Hiii, dreamer again. Sorry if it's short. I hope you liked it and have a good day. KEEP DREAMING AND TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF! dreamer out^-^