Motel Room /Rafe Cameron

08

Rafe

I walked away from her with Barry's house in clear sight, my heart unwillingly burning as the distance between us grew bigger. I hadn't been that close to her for months, and I was still unsure how I felt about her being back. Maybe if I was given a heads up, or expected it, it would be different, because I hadn't had the time to process anything or decide the best way to behave around her.

As soon as I opened the door I was met with Jake, who I exchanged a nod with as he brushed past my shoulder to leave, assumingly back to his car. Barry was a man of many questions, so even though I felt heavy in my steps and hot to the touch I ensured my face said otherwise as I threw myself onto the couch, running my fingers through my hair whilst taking a sip of the beer he'd just passed me.

"Here," he said through a sigh, "you look like you need it."

Barry chucked a bag of powder onto the table which slid in front of my knee, my eyes locked onto it and my teeth bit down onto each other whilst I heard the engine of Jake's car outside, as it revved away. "In a bit." I mumbled, ignoring the dose of energy that was right in front of me and focusing on the packet of fags in my pocket instead.

"What the fuck is wrong with you man?" Barry laughed, loud enough for my eyes to squint, "when do you ever turn down a bit of sniff?"

I rolled my thumb onto the lighter and sparked the end of the cigarette, pushing my head back comfortably onto the sofa as my view met the ceiling. I watched the smoke create little shapes in the air under the light bulb, without a shade. It dangled openly on one thin bit of wire. The paint on the walls was more chipped each time I came. There was broken glass in the corner of the room which had clearly been swept but not binned.

"I'm still recovering from the other night bro" I groaned, the headache I've suffered from for the past week returning, initiating a firm head rub that only seemed to make it worse.

Barry grasped the tv remove and pressed a few buttons until the rugby match appeared on the tv, volume to the max as a result of the tunes being streamed on there last night. He jumped back in his seat, muttered something under his breath and held the volume button down. After a few minutes, the door burst open, Kelce and Topper with white plastic bags in their hands that were red raw from strain. The bags looked crumpled and as if they were about to split any second, so they both hastily settled them down in the middle of the table and started ripping open the cardboard boxes filled with cans of Booze.

"the party has arrived." Kelce grins as he excitedly rubs his hands together, holds his beer in the air, and swigs it. I grabbed one for myself, my fingers brushing past the baggie that was still on the table.

Shrugging my shoulders, I sipped my beer and swallowed it, before I ripped open the small bag and fiddled around in my jogger pocket for my car keys. I held one nostril, bought the key steadily to my nose and sniffed, instantly craving more. I scooped another pile of powder, and repeated.  Then again, once more. Scoop, hold, sniff.

"Jesus save some for the rest of us." Topper mumbled, holding out his hand. He snatched the bag from my fingers.

Any ounce of anguish left my blood and was replaced with stamina, and drive. I closed my eyes. I saw the suitcases in the trunk of the car. I heard the engine turn on, the radio playing from inside of the car as it drove off.

I opened my eyes.

My phone rattled on the table and I already knew it was Becca, asking me where I was or what I was doing and who I was doing it with, so I simply decided to ignore it. In fact, I flipped it upside down so the light wouldn't disturb me when she texted me again, and again.

"So," Kelce said as he blew out a huge puff of smoke from the vape he held in his hand, his eyes on me and a smirk on his face, so I knew I wasn't gonna like whatever he said next. "Blair's looking good." he said, confidently. I scoffed, nodded my head, tried my hardest to push those words out of my head and forget that name for good. "She's always looked good man" Barry laughed and nudged my knee with his, my jaw clenched at his touch and their laughs, her name and their adolescence.

I remained silent, heart thumping from the flashes of her I saw in my head, and the cocaine that fired up my blood. "Who's go is it next?" Kelce laughed, the fire inside exploding as I lifted myself off the sofa and grabbed him by the collar, shoving him up to the wall and hearing beer bottles be placed onto the table in haste to get up and separate us, but there was no space between our chests to succeed in pulling us apart.

"watch your fucking mouth" I spat at him with full desire to knock the smirk off his smug face. He threw his hands in the air in surrender, glancing to the other boys desperately. "Rafe he was joking, bro, chill" Barry softy mumbled and placed his hand on my shoulder which I shook off, before snapping my grip off his collar. I stepped backwards, but I didn't remove my glare from him until he sat back in the seat he was in.

I caught my breath and felt for my keys in my pocket, which were still there, and I swiped my phone from the table before barging out of the front door, my eyes locked onto the multiple texts that I lacked care to reply to. I swiped up to gain access to the home screen, and I clicked on my messages, but I didn't intend on replying to any, I planned to start a whole new conversation. I typed in her name. I stared at the keyboard. All the different letters and I was unsure what ones to string together, unaware of what response I would get, but I did it anyway, and my thumb shook as I pressed the blue arrow, and the ding as it sent made my chest heavy.

I slid my phone into my pocket after putting it on silent and got into my car, turned the engine on, and drove to the same address, 30 minutes away, knowing that this could be the start or the end of everything.