The Secret Life Of Teenagers

Chapter 1 : My Past

2012-2016

Bad things happen when you least expect them to. Its the feeling of bad things constantley happening and its out of your control. That's when you start to feel bad things happening to you all the time. Like its a stormy cloud that follows you through your every breath. I have had this stormy cloud follow since i was seven. I suddenly fell ill. I described it as the world was spinning, i couldnt stop being sick and i couldnt control my feelings. Later that week i was rushed to hospital at this point they still diddnt know what was wrong as then i was sent to another hospital and they found out after christmas that i had a full blown stroke adter years of having mini strokes. Yes a stroke in a seven year old. It was the worst feeling in my life. I couldnt control my body and i diddnt know how to feel. People staring at you with their puppy dog eyes asking you if you are okay and all you can do is prtend that you are okay. What else are you going to say? Obliviously i wasnt okay but acting like i was, was better that saying i wasnt. I had to learn to walk, talk and everything basically i could still talk witch i was greatfull for. I think i would of went mad if i couldnt talk and express my emotions and feelings. Even if i pretended that i was okay. I got ill right on christmas time and now that makes christmas a really emotinal time.

My older sister victoria watched me when i was ill while she got to celebrate christmas like any other child and not have to be stuck in a hospital bed getting bed sores and messy rat hair. If you know you know. My sister makes out she went throught it but oh boy only if she knew. It makes me sick when she had to talk about it making out like it happened to her. Well let me tell you if it did happen to her she would be traumatised every day and worry if it will happen again because i am i worry every day and it pains me to think of the horrible memories that i have to have for the rest of my life.

Finally by febuary 2013 i got released for hospital i just about could walk and well just about had a smile on my face after sprending christmas, new years, my mums birthday and my dads birthday in hospital. Yeah i was in there for a long time well let me tell you two months or so felt like a year. Stuck bed bound most of the time having examinations and tests done. Being poked and prodded twenty four seven just felt like my life. But i finally got the strength to come out of hospital and go home with all the bad memories. But as a seven year old you dont think of that to much. But one thing i did think of and know for certain my parents acted and treated me like i couldnt do anything for myself and in other words an invalid. I felt like i was being watched. I know they were worried that it might happen again and they would want to be there on hand streight away but i needed space to breath and well then i had a problem for years thinking that i was being watched everywhere i went. I dont know if that was the way my mind worked after the stroke or they acctually were watching me.

We finally had christmas day when i came home and let me tell you its a christmas i wont forget for years. After my stroke i was fragile with my feelings and well if someone told me NO i woud get in an upset state. Its like telling someone with autism no to a toy but instead food and well telling a stroke victim No. I was very fagile and belive i still am. I wanted to have pigs in blankets. And well my dad said no. I put it down and cried. It hit the horrible spot in me i belive. My mum did tell him of and she told me to eat it and forget about what he said witch i did but it is a part of my life i will never forget. Its weird even after having a stroke you remeber the things that are little but big. I think my dad probaly serched stroke affects and things and why it happened well i can tell you why it happened and it wasnt because i consumed to much salt or fat it was because i was born with narrow arteries in the neck and it caused a blockage when one teared. But he probably diddnt listen to that and well just jumps to the conclusion that pigs in blankets is going to cause me another stroke. Well it wont trust me.

The next event that happened was even worse and well i dont know how that is possible when a seven year old has a stroke. One night mum and dad went out for a date and all I know is that they never returned. Me and Victoria were sent streight to care. It felt like we were being punished for something we couldn't control. Finding out we wouldnt see our mum and dad ever again it felt like the world was coming down on us. And there was nothing we could do. We just wanted to be at home be close to the only memories we had of out mum and dad but they wouldnt let us. It was like they were being evil on purpose.