Unanchored (H.S.)

Chapter 19

April 20th, 2013

I take a cigarette out of my holder and pass Harry one too, before I light his. I light mine and look at the flame for a while, admiring Its beauty until I snap out of it realising, I'm not alone.

Harry starts "I'm sorry about last night, I was mad and drunk. I took out my frustrations on you and you didn't deserve that from me at all. This is your personal space, and you don't have to say anything to me. It just hurts sometimes remembering you're the same Lynn I've been friends with for 9 years and you don't want so much as to look at me."

I take that in, and I understand his point of view. "Harry, I'm sorry about last night too, I was rude and you didn't need that from me considering you really haven't done anything wrong. I honestly don't know how to explain this, I've changed considerably since the last few years we were in Holmes Chapel together and there are a lot of things you don't know about me. I wish I could tell you everything at once but It's difficult for me, to communicate. You know how I am and that's why I've been hiding from you, this whole living next door to each other isn't ideal when you're running from someone."

He looks at me like he's confused again, "That's why you're hiding from me? Because you don't want to reveal your mysteries to me. I get that and I know it's hard for you to talk but It's never been this hard for you to talk to me. I miss you Lynn and I know you miss me too; I will respect your need for time and you don't have to tell me everything but please stop shutting me out. I'm sick of this, after our chat that didn't make it to the coffee house, I thought things were going to be more relaxed, but you've just upped the blockade." He says.

"I am trying to stop shutting you out, right now and from now onwards I will try harder. It's just my defence mechanism and that's no excuse but please know that It's not just you. I barely talk to anyone anymore, and I'm sorry you're one of the people I've shut out. I never wanted this to happen with us." I say trying to show him that I will put in effort into making this work.

He grabs my hand from next to me, giving it a little squeeze. We always used that as our code that we'd be alright. I smile at him and we both take a minute to drink some wine and light another cigarette.

I put my glass down and face him, It's better I just get this over with instead of overthinking. " There is something I need to tell you, and you're not going to like this very much." I say before he also puts his glass down and faces me.

"Something happened in 2010 when both Gem and you were gone, and I was in Holmes Chapel alone. I haven't spoken to many people about this, but you need to know. Mark took advantage, he took me out and I thought it would be fine since he was your best mate, and he was nice, but he took me to a desolate place and assaulted me." I say without pausing to breathe.

Harry looked too stunned to speak, "That's why I ran away last night, I haven't seen him since it happened, and you were already mad at me, and it was all too much." I continue.

"What did he do to you Lynn?" Harry says in a menacing tone. "He raped me, called me horrible things, he even texted me after saying he wouldn't mind having at it again." I replied. I was crying at this point, and I think Harry would be too, but his anger is overpowering his sadness.

"Why didn't you tell me before? I was with you two days after you met him. I would've killed him then and there." He asks. "Why do you think I barely saw you and Gem, I was scared you wouldn't believe me, and even more scared about having to tell more people about it." I replied. It was the truth; I was only 16 and had never even thought about anything with a guy before.

Harry gets up, he's storming out of my house and I'm so confused. He flings the door open and marches up to his house. He's moving so fast I'm running to keep up with him and he keeps it up until he's in his guest room where Mark is watching tv. "Are you really going to sit there and pretend nothing happened? Taking advantage of little girls and leaving them torn apart, AND STILL SPEAKING TO ME, STAYING IN MY HOUSE? WHO THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?" Harry screams at Mark. Mark looks up at him and confidently says, "Are you really going to believe this bitch saying something about me, come on lad I've been your best mate for 10 years." Harry does the unthinkable then, he walks up to the bed, yanks Mark up till he's standing and punches him in the face.

Mark tries to fight back but Harry is significantly stronger, Harry keeps punching till he falls to the ground. I thought it would stop there but Harry yanks him up again, putting his mouth to Marks ear before screaming "GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY HOUSE!" 

Mark grabs his keys and basically limps his way out of the house and before he can get in the car Harry takes his clothes and whatever was on the counter and throws it out the window so it all lands on him and around him. "Take your shit with you, I never want to see you again, never want to even breathe the same air as you." Harry shouts to him as he pathetically picks up his clothes and speeds away.