Forever Yours |TodoBakuDeku AU|

Never Seen Him Cry.

Hitoshi Shinsou-Aizawa

"So what exactly are you trying to say?" I ask, swiping my scattered peer review papers into my folder and pulling my laptop close to my chest like a shield.

"I just want to emphasize how incredibly sorry I am," he sighed, deflating in the chair next me, only separated by the corner of the table. "Like, I fucked up in a huge way and I want to apologize."

"I know Mina and Ochako already apologized and I saw them on Bakugou's story after the half day. They were at Galaxy mall."

"Yeah, I know," I croak, reaching down into my bag for a monster energy drink and already drinking before i'm even sitting upright again. "I was there."

"Anyway, you said you want to convey just how sorry you are, right? I don't think a written statement would do well with Bakugou. I also hope that you understand that you have to apologize to Midoriya and   Todoroki too. Also-"

"You said you would stop." He said suddenly, his voice serious as he stared at the can in my hand.

He's totally right too. I had promised to stop being cruel to my body around the time where Dad was finally able to get me on antidepressants. Last year, it got really bad. So bad I was institutionalized for a month after an attempt.
I didn't sleep, I didn't really eat and stayed functioning using monster like gasoline. Denki was there for all of that, playing with Eri when i couldn't get out of bed and sitting at the foot of my bed to make sure I slept. When it was bad it was really bad.

Ever since then, I haven't been drinking monster, instead deferring to iced coffee. But the stress of this week has made it impossible for me to sleep and coffee wasn't cutting it.

"It's fine Denki, I just haven't really been sleeping lately," I murmured, hiding my face behind my screen and busying my fingers on the keyboard.

"Sweets," he said his pet name for me so softly and gently and easily that I flinched.

"Don't call me that. It doesn't feel good," I replied quickly, wiping my shaking palms on my pants.

The nickname was an unwelcome reminder of intimacy and trust that we no longer had. Hearing the way his mouth curved around the word sent a shiver down my spine that I relished, but my insides roiled with guilt every time i wasn't angry or detached enough to remember that I'm desperately in love with him.

Over my hoodie I scratched at the jagged crescents that almost cost me my life not too long ago as Denki stared at the table.

I looked up for a moment and caught a glimpse of his anguished expression and felt nearly sick trying to stay where I sat.

I couldn't do this alone. But for my friends, I'll just have to.

Izuku Midoriya

Shoto and Katsuki were over at my house on Sunday after Game Night.

We were all in my room doing our homework when we were startled by a frantic ringing of my doorbell. We shared a puzzled look before I leapt to my feet and ran downstairs, leaving Shoto on the floor and Katsuki at my desk.

I flew down the stairs, telling my mom I'd get the door and wrenched it open.

Standing there on brink of tears was Hitoshi.

"Hitochan?" I whispered as he barreled into my arms and sobbed into my shoulder. I instantly wrapped my arms around him and held him tight.

I closed the door behind us with my foot and panicked a bit.

I have never seen him cry like this.