Fnia and other stuff

Count The Ways

   Graduating high school was probably the best thing that could've happened to Millie. She could finally get away from the people that made those years horrible. It always made her happy to think about that. Just one of those few happy thoughts she had now.
   But even that happy thought couldn't stop her from staring down at the black notebook she held in her hands. She didn't open it. Only stared at the midnight black cover. The inside was just pages upon pages that were filled with writing. It was all wishes. Wishes to just die.
   Minutes went by of her just staring at the cover until she tossed it across her room, the notebook hitting her dresser. Her attention turned to that dresser, which wasn't special except for the black paint. She couldn't help but stare at the pictures she kept there. It was only just her and the 5 others she kept close. No family photos, and she didn't want any.
   Millie didn't have the best connections with her family. She shut them out of her life years ago, and for good reason. She didn't need them. All she needed was her friends and boyfriend. She still couldn't understand what Josh saw in her that made him want her. Yet she could easily say why she let Josh in her life. There were many reasons why she liked him.
   Even now, just thinking about him made her smile. He was one of the main reasons she wasn't dead yet. She didn't know what she'd do without him.
   So out of her room she went and into the empty hallway in her apartment. It wasn't much, yet it was all she could afford at the moment. There wasn't much in the apartment since it was just her. Although she did have her own little things here and there. She didn't decorate much.
   Lost in her own thoughts she wandered into the kitchen, which wasn't big. But it worked for her. The tile was cold on her feet, which made her a bit uncomfortable.
   Why don't you stab yourself? Quick and easy death!
   Her heartbeat increased in speed. That voice echoed in her mind. It didn't sound like her own. But maybe it was right. She could just end it all right then and there. Her hand gripped the handle of the nearest knife. She hesitated before lifting it up. Staring into her own reflection on the blade, she could see the look of uncertainty in her own eyes. Seconds later the point of the blade pressed against her chest. But she couldn't bring herself to push the blade in, so she dropped it and immediately pulled out her phone.

   Meanwhile Josh was just in his kinda messy room. Clothes and random objects strewn everywhere. The open curtains let the light into the room. Josh himself was at his desk just doing random things on his computer.
   Josh was a more introverted person. He didn't like going out and talking to people. It made him feel uncomfortable, unless it was someone he already knew and was close with. And there wasn't too many people he was like that with.
   He wasn't the most organized person either. That was obvious based off his unorganized outfit. Black hoodie, red basketball shorts, and mismatched socks. Most people would say that's unorganized. He didn't care since it was comfortable. That was his clothing philosophy. If its comfortable, he doesn't care what the outfit looks like.
   Staring into the monitor in front of him, he was still confused about why he always seemed to look good. That pretty much made people want to talk to him, and he didn't like that. The first thing someone would notice about him was either his short and curly black hair, or his blue eyes. Other then that and his facial structure, he was pretty average in his eyes.
   Back to his project.
   He was busy doing a little bit of research. Josh was in a robotics class, and he has been for a year now. It was a thing that continued on even after he finished high school. The project was an exoskeleton, and he was deciding it'd be big enough for him to wear.
   But during this, he was also dealing with Jeremy telling him about some doll that was doing impossible things earlier this morning.
   "Dude, a doll can't do that." Josh stated calmly, almost like he didn't care. Although that was just his normal voice.
  "Josh, why would I be making this stuff up?" Jeremy half yelled.
   "Because you've done it before."
   And that shut up Jeremy, until he yelled at something to stop what they were doing, and promptly hung up.
   Josh just shook his head and went back to his project. He figured Jeremy was yelling at Kasey, his girlfriend. The whole friend group was aware Kasey loved to steal things. Didn't really bother them though.
   He sat there, working. Soda next to him and his thoughts not straying from his task. He got so focused he jumped a bit once his phone buzzed. Checking it, it was a message from Millie. And that concerned him. He knew of Millie's thoughts and her wishes. It always hurt to think that was going through her head.
   He was relieved to find that she was only coming over. So he responded with a simple "ok" and put his phone down.