How Not to Vampire - Season 2

17: Dance With the Devil

Pro-Tip for Vampires #56: Always expect the unexpected, even when you think you expect the unexpected.

There is a famous saying that goes something like this: "if you're going to aim for the King, you make damn sure that you don't miss." I'd like to add on to that very wise and notably accurate statement. If you're going to aim for the king, make damn sure he's not a vampire.

Ibrahaim easily jerked his head to the side.

"It was at that moment, Bob knew he had fucked up," Beatrice intoned solemnly.

So yeah, there's me, finger still squeezing the trigger of Beatrice's hand-cannon, Ibrahaim eyeing me as if I had just peed on the floor. Beatrice hadn't even reacted to me grabbing her gun. It occurred to me later that she could have easily stopped me, but instead there she was, a smug look on her face as if she was proud of me or something.

It didn't help that my ears immediately rang from firing such a large gun in such a tiny space, a sharp stabbing pain that threatened to take off the top of my skull with its intensity. That ringing I would have happily dealt with if there had at least been a bullet-sized hole in Ibrahaim's face, his blood and brains splattered all over the walls.

Ibrahaim smirked—

"I take it back!" I managed before an invisible force slammed into me, knocking me backward and off my feet. I was dimly aware of Demucci slumping and then staggering against a wall, his eyes unfocused, King rushing to his aid. The door burst open as someone else entered, but I didn't care if it was the calvary coming to the rescue, I couldn't think clearly anymore. At that moment, Ibrahaim was back in my head, scrabbling desperately for control, more determined than before. There was this familiar surge of energy—

You will submit! Ibrahaim snarled in my head. My body whipped around to face Meredith, who was pressed against the door as if she had nowhere to run. Before I knew what was happening, I reached out to her.

"Come child," I said. Meredith stepped toward me, mesmerised, her hand reaching out to take mine. My fangs snapped into place—

Motherfucker! I screamed at Ibrahaim. Let her go!

Why must you fight so? Ibrahaim implored. Many have given themselves willingly to me. Just like this human...

Meredith caressed my shoulder, and pressing her body against mine, leaned her head out of the way to expose her neck. It was a clear invitation. If I hadn't known about the power of glammering, I would have believed that this was exactly what she wanted.

Ibrahaim sank my fangs into Meredith's neck— except... I managed to retract my fangs, gaining some measure of control.

Stop it! Ibrahaim snarled.

My fangs snapped back out.

No, you stop it! I snarled back.

My fangs snapped back in.

"BOB!" Louise's voice yelled from what seemed like a million miles away, and I raised my eyes, not understanding what I saw at the far end of the corridor. It looked just like Louise, but that had to be some type of trick, right? What the hell was she doing here?

"This isn't what it looks like!" I tried to defend myself, mouth full of Meredith's neck. It was all mumbled of course and I had to try again. I displayed Meredith for all to see, undamaged neck and all. "I didn't do it!"

"He really didn't," a very disappointed Meredith confirmed and then tumbled to the floor as I dropped her. "Oops!"

Drink of her blood! Ibrahaim demanded, but his power over me was not as intense as before. He was almost pleading now. You are a vampire! Be the vampire!