How Not to Vampire - Season 2

18 Going Rogue: a Beginners Guide

Pro-Tip for Vampires #111: there are different types of vampires, and all of them are blood-sucking bastards.

My return to the Hall of the Drunken King didn't go quite as I expected. I was already focused on the stairs that lead to where the real power resided, and completely ignored the small cluster of people and vampires hanging out in the downstairs foyer.

"What the fuck are you doing here?" King appeared from out of nowhere, grabbing my arm and startling the hell out of me. I didn't stop walking though, and so he fell into step next to me, looking around futtively. "Harry is going to murder you if he sees you! Wait, which you am I talking to here?"

"Mostly me," I shrugged as we made our way up the stairs, King struggling to keep up.

Two older vampires stepped aside when they saw me coming, throwing cautious looks as if I was about to explode at any moment. I smiled, enjoying the moment.

I continued. "Ibrahaim and I came to an arrangement."

"You really shouldn't be here—"

I whirled on him, and Ibrahaim surged to the front of my mind, forceful and commanding. My fangs snapped into place and with it came that spike of adrenaline. King took a step backward, fear in his eyes.

What the fuck dude? I snapped at Ibrahaim, and felt him pull back a little. I struggled to regain my composure and bad attitude.

"Maybe you're the one who shouldn't be here," I hissed.

King held up his hands in surrender, and backed away down the steps. He looked like he wanted to say something else, but I didn't give him the chance. I turned away a little too dramatically, feeling like I was in one of those fucked up telenovelas that my mom loved so much. That's how unreal the entire situation suddenly felt, and it was throwing me off in a huge way. My legs suddenly felt like I was walking on stilts made of spaghetti as I made my way up the stairs.

I recognized Julie even from behind, the back of her head instantly familiar, even before I took in her height and the rest of her remarkable body, in that slinky black dress that was going to look great on her bedroom floor.

That restored my shaken confidence, knowing that I would have at least one person glad to see me. What I really should have been paying attention to was the faces of the three other girls she was talking to. Those girls all saw me at pretty much the same time, and their faces went white with what I recognize now as fear. That's hindsight talking and like Dave Mustaine says, that's always 20-20, but looking back is still a bit fuzzy.

So wilfully unaware idiot that I was, I reached out and caressed Julie's shoulder. She jerked away, startled, almost as if she expected to be hit, and then turned to face me.

"What the fuck do you want?" She snarled.

I noticed the fading bruise that covered most of the right side of her beautiful face. The purplish bruise went from her eye, down her cheek and to her neck. It was as if she had been bitten badly on the neck, but hadn't healed properly. This was odd since the enzymes in vampire saliva encouraged fast healing in humans.

"Who did that to you?" I spat, the rage building inside. Someone had hurt my friend and they were going to pay—

"You did this to me, you fucking moron!" Julie screamed, and I stepped back, horrifed denial and guilt.

Oh shit. Ohshitohshitohshit.

I thought she looked familiar, Ibrahaim admitted.

"Oh my God, I'm so sorry Julie—"