Starting Over

chapter eight

Scarlett

Well this isn't exactly how I saw my morning going.

Today is supposed to be the day that I leave for Whitedale. With it being Saturday I thought the traffic would be quieter and it's not like I'm only there for the weekend. I have two whole months there. So instead of heading there last night, I decided to take a long shower and snuggle in my bed with a book.

However, I'm wishing I did set off last now because I wouldn't be here right now, stood at my car with Ryan trying to have a conversation with me.

"Scarlett, did you hear me?"

"Sorry Ryan, I'm on my way out so-"

"Where are you going? Why have you got all these bags packed?"

He eyes up my back seat with my suitcase and a few duffle bags.

"Look, we aren't together anymore. I don't need to tell you anything."

"Well I can just ask your work actually, we have a working lunch with-"

"Stop! Ryan, I need you to stop."

"Scarlett. Don't raise your voice at me. Now I don't know what has happened to you, your having some sort of crisis but I want you to know that I'm here for you. And to make sure that your still coming to the Gala in a couple of months?"

I carry on placing the rest of my bags into my car while Ryan stands there talking at me.

"No Ryan, we aren't together anymore. So I won't attending the Gala with you."

"Look Scarlett, I'm sorry. I love you. I want us to be together."

I freeze as Ryan's hand touches my arm, turning me to face him.

After all this time he finally tells me he loves me and he wants us to be together.

"Ryan, we ended things okay? This isn't going to work-"

"I'll give you space alright. Some space for you to go to wherever it is your going and I will see you at the Gala okay?"

"I-"

"Okay?"

I nod slowly. I don't want to go to anything with him anymore. We aren't together. But Richard & Sons heavily support the funding of the Gala, and I know I will be expected to go for the sake of my job.

Deciding I need another coffee before setting off I stroll down the street into my favourite bakery. As I wait for my order my phone vibrates in my back pocket.

Not having the heart to talk to him, I decline Brody's call. My head is spinning after Ryan's words. How for all this time he hasn't seemed bothered about me and then when I finally do something for myself he appears, like a bad smell, wanting to crush my happiness.

I feel my phone vibrate in my pocket but this time I don't even look at who is calling me, I just let it go to voicemail.

Making it back to my car it's just turned 11am. I throw my hair up into a ponytail and settle into the driver's seat, ready to leave the city behind. At least for the summer.

~

I don't know how long I've been sat here for. The waves put me into some sort of meditative state and I lose all sense of time.

I walked further along the beach so I wasn't near Brody's house and hid myself into a cove. My thoughts are overwhelming my mind and I don't know how to process everything.

I want to be happy and loved but I don't have that with Ryan. No matter how much he tells me he loves me and wants to be with me now, I have to be strong and stick with my choice. I ended things with him, that's what I have to remember.