Starting Over

chapter twenty-seven

Scarlett

We ended dinner earlier than expected due to our situation.

The drive back was awfully silent. I'm currently sat with Colby on the cosy corner chair, waiting for Brody to join us.

I know deep down that this conversation is going to be hard, but we need to talk about it. I can't believe what happened infront of our friends tonight.

Brody walks in the room, his hoodie and joggers both grey, his hands in his pockets as he approaches me.

"This isn't us Scar." His voice is low as he sits on the chair with us.

"I know."

I reach for his face, my thumb softly caressing his facial hair and he surprisingly doesn't pull away, which is promising.

"We don't argue or go weeks without seeing each other. We have such different lives and I was so scared this would happen. You would go back to your life in the city and the summer would be forgotten. I would be forgotten. I can't do this Scar, I can't only see you once every few weeks, it's killing me not having you here all the time."

A single tear runs down my cheek as I wipe it away quickly. My chest tightens as I watch the man I love give up on us.

"I thought-" I shake my head as Brody's hand hold my neck. I look up into his eyes to see tears fall down his cheeks.

"I thought we had all the time in the world, that we love each other too much for us to end." I reach inside the top I'm wearing to pull out the necklace Brody placed on my neck nearly two months ago.

"What happened to 'you have my heart no matter where you are'? We really can't make this work?"

"I love you Scar, I love you so much which is why I have to let you go." His eyes flicker between mine, my heart is breaking right now.

"If you love her, let her go. If she comes back she's yours forever. If she doesn't then it's just not meant to be." He almost whispers.

"How can you love me and let me go?"

"I have to Scar. I miss you so much when you're gone. You're all I think about. But I have to let you live your life in the city, you have a great opportunity for this new job role, you've made some new friends and unfortunately that life doesn't include me."

I sob into his chest as he holds me. I thought I found my dream to be happy and in love, I thought we could survive this. I'm not even upset that he is doing this, I get it, it's been so hard.

"I love you Brody. Thank you for letting me into your world."

"I love you too. Thank you for being you."

I can't stop the tears as they fall from my sore eyes. Colby nudges his head into lap, his sad eyes looking up to me. I cuddle his head, planting a kiss on his fur.

"I will always love you Colby. You're the best dog."

Suddenly Brody pulls my chin up to him as he crashes his lips on mine. The kiss is slow and long, this is the last time I'm going to kiss him, to hold him, to be in his arms. He pulls away, resting his forehead on mine, another tear falling down his cheek.

How am I meant to move on from him? How can I just drive away tomorrow from Brody and from Whitedale like the past four months didn't happen?

"You have my heart Scarlett, you always will."

~

It's been three days since I came back home and my heart feels like someone has literally ripped it out of my chest. I've called in sick at work all week, I just can't face being there and acting as if everything is okay. I've barely left the apartment since I got home on Sunday night.