Always, Our Secret Dream 3

𝒞𝒽𝒶𝓅𝓉ℯ𝓇 ℱ𝒾𝒻𝓉𝓎－ℰ𝒾ℊ𝒽𝓉

'Did you want to know his name?' I smile, tilting him a little so she can see his little face but making sure not to disturb his happiness as he holds onto Bryan's finger and watches me. His stormy blue eyes locked onto mine. 'Yes,' she breathes. Smiling down at us.

'Quinnie, this is your godson ... Lucian Whisper Williams' Leaning down I press a kiss to Lucian's little head over the top of his baby blue hat. 'Lucian this is your Aunty and Godmother Quinn. She's going to be the most incredible person beside me in your life' I promise. His mouth parts as he watches us. I point over to Quinn and his head turns as if he knows that's what I wanted him to do. I know they say his little eyes still can't focus but I'm choosing to believe otherwise. Because when I watch him now I can see how his eyes are locked on my best friends. He knows. I don't care what anyone else thinks, Lucian knows that this person will be someone he can depend on. Both good and bad.

'Lucian,' she smiles 'He looks like a Lucian and those eyes...he's going to be a real heartstopper.'

'Congratulations' Dom praises from beside Quinn. His eyes watch Lucian as he thrums Quinn's hip. 'Won't be long until we have one of those' he smiles, pressing a kiss to the side of her neck.

'You're going to be incredible parents.' Bryan agrees as he fills another two glasses with water. Offer one to each of them.

'Would you like to hold him?' I ask Quinn as Bryan helps me lean forward and hold Lucian towards her. With a tentative breath, I pass Lucian over to Quinn. She holds him close to her chest before she walks over to the free armchair. Cooing and fangirling over my little man.

'Would you mind holding him for a while? Bryan and I need to get ready to post my album release.' I don't need to say anything more than that as we all agreed posting new music on the day Lucian was born would be a good attempt to distract the paparazzi from finding out about his birth. It's not that we want to hide him from the world it's just we won't to savour this time for us. To spend it with our family and friends without the added pressure that the world guarantees.

'Let's just take a moment for us, sweetness. We can post the release later. You need to take a moment to just be here with us. Your baby boy is happy and healthy. Little Nugget is still cooking inside your tummy. My love for you continues to grow with every passing second and first the first time ever we are finally a family of more than just two.' I love how Bryan can just give me the sensation of pausing time. He holds me in the now instead of just constantly hopping from one thing to the next. I snuggle into his side wrapping myself around him as we watch our family with our little man. My smile widened with every sound Lucian makes. I don't have a clue what Quinn is telling him but he loves it.

'Look at them' I whisper. Looking at Quinn and Dom with Lucian gives us a glimpse of what things are going to look like for them in a few months. It will be Quinn laying in a bed like this with Dom by her side and her little baby wrapped in her arms.

'I love you, daddy'

'I love you, kitten'

Seven perfect hours later...

When Quinn and Dom dropped by last night we decided to hold off on posting the release of my album. I know we said the plan was to drop a single but plans changed and together we have decided to drop an album. The album I pulled together is about a little boy I was dreaming to hold one day. Only that day moved from being a dream to a reality yesterday with our son, Lucian.

We snapped so many photos last night that I know are going to make an incredible entry into the thousands of photo albums I am going to be creating and holding onto for years to come.

The plan for today whilst I am still on bed rest at the hospital for Lucian to meet his uncle Chris and Aunty Bella. Both of them wanted to come tomorrow but with Quinn and Dom's surprise arrival we didn't want to draw even more attention to our movements so we agreed that they would come during the daytime and spend some time with us. I also made Chris promise to bring me some snacks and some food. I appreciate that we get some great food here but it's still hospital food.

I might have also made Bryan promise me that he wouldn't grant them entry into the room unless Chris has the bag of goodies for me. And because Bryan only wants what's best for me and for me and his family to have everything we want he will ensure that everything I want, need and crave is always his top priority. Even if that means refusing his brother entry to meet his nephew.

'Thank-You' I say as I stare at him holding Lucian. Breastfeeding has been insane getting that closeness to Lucian. I think I would feel more sadness or those baby blues if I wasn't able to keep this connection with him through feedings. I know that Bryan is desperate to feed Lucian to have that special connection with him but he also knows it's important for now to feed him straight from the boob.

'What for?' he asks as he glances up at me. A confused smile on his plump lips.

'For always looking out for me and our family'

'Always, sweetness. You, Lucian and little Nugget are everything to me. I will always protect, love and cherish you.' he promises, reaching out and squeezing my left foot.

'I promise soon you will be able to feed him, you won't be waiting forever' I slip my boob free from my bra whilst Bryan holds against my chest, turning his head and helping him latch onto me. I know that this is one of those moments that helps him feel like he is a part of this feeding process. Holding him or helping him latch on gives him that connection and to others that might seem weird but to us it's natural and I will never, ever force him to take a step back.

'Baby, I love that you're looking out for my feelings but I am happy being here with you guys and supporting you. I know one day you will decide on pumping and I will be able to bottle feed but don't you ever decide on that just so I can feed him? I want what's best and that's your milk.'

Nodding in agreement I tug Bryan down to me so our lips can crash together in a heated kiss. Lips, tongue, teeth you name it we are involving it. I crave him. I crave him like an addict. 'I love you for that but I can promise you this...I will be pumping soon as I too would like to be able to sleep at night' I laugh, teasing him.

'Anything you need princess.'

'Once Lucian is done will you take him and change him whilst I finally post the release of my album.'

'Anything you need, princess'

I love how he just takes charge of everything I need him to without hesitation and complaint. He lifts Lucian out of my arms and squishes him against his own chest. Brushing his lips against mine before stepping away and crossing to the room to the makeshift changing table on the sofa. Our little man cooing up at his daddy.

I watch them beneath my lashes for a moment before I shuffle up on the bed and unlock my phone. I think watching him with Lucian is my new favourite pastime. I want to lock this moment into my mind for the days when the skies are grey and the rain is pouring down.

Staring down at my phone I type rapidly as I pull together my latest post. The new momma in me wants to scream to the world that we are new parents and have the world's most handsome little man but the protective, possessive kitten in me won't allow anything to come in between this blissful moment in time that we are sharing. And that's the biggest part of me right now, the needs of our son must always come first and deep inside my heart I know keeping him from the world is what's best for his wellbeing.

A/N

Happy Wednesday!

I hope your all having a fabulous weekend. I appreciate the support whilst I've been radio silent. I've been taking some time away, focusing on me and my wellbeing.

I know it's been a while but I finally have something written and edited.

Until the next time, love Charlotte.