Fights, Camera, Action

Chapter Thirty

Luckily, the trip to the cabin had passed without incident, and they had arrived in the early evening. Dean got out of the car they'd brought, looking around at the mountains all around them. The peaks reached for the sky like they could disappear into its endless blue, and he could see miles of them. It was one of the most beautiful sights he'd ever seen.

All too soon, he got too cold to stand and look anymore. Grabbing his bag, he headed to wait on the front porch as Charlie struggled to get the key out. Sam snorted and took her bag from her so she could open the door, and she finally let them in. The warm air hit them immediately, and Dean smiled as he flipped a light on.

The living room was big and cozy, with a huge glass door and windows that led out to the back porch. The view was insane there, just miles of mountains with a river running between them. The furniture was mostly log with cushions and soft faux fur blankets and pillows tossed around. The kitchen was to the left of the entrance, and there were a few shoot off doors that he assumed led to the bedrooms and bathrooms. Stepping in to let Sam and Charlie in, he looked to Charlie for direction.

"Alright, the bedroom at the back left is mine. Dean, you can take back right, Sam, take front right. The bathroom is the door between your rooms," she said.

"Cool. Is it supposed to snow tonight? I would love to see that," Dean said. Charlie nodded, smiling.

"It's supposed to start any minute now. Go unpack your bags, and put some pajamas on. This is not a real clothes kind of trip," she said, and then headed off to her own room.

Dean went past Sam and into the room Charlie had designated for him. The bed was big and looked incredibly comfortable, and there was a large window overlooking the same view the porch had. Setting his bag down, he began to put his clothes in the drawers of the dresser, finishing in about five minutes. Setting his bag on the floor next to the dresser, he changed into pajamas, as Charlie had instructed, and then went back into the main area of the cabin. Heading for the kitchen, he decided that hot chocolate was in order.

By the time the other two emerged from their bedrooms, he had made them all hot chocolate and found mini marshmallows to put in them. Passing around mugs, he sipped his and groaned.

"God, I love hot chocolate," he said, and Sam and Charlie nodded in agreement.

"It's especially nice when it's snowing," Charlie said, smiling and pointing at the back windows. Outside, fat snowflakes were drifting through the air and landing gently on the porch.

Dean moved out of the kitchen and sat on one of the couches, mug in hand, watching the snow fall. It was calming, watching the flakes settle like a fine dust across everything.

Sam and Charlie joined him shortly after, having been too busy arguing over how many mini marshmallows was acceptable to put in a mug to notice that he had left the kitchen.  Sam was also staring out at the snow, not having seen much of it. It seemed much less novel for Charlie, which was unsurprising, considering that this was her family cabin.

After about five minutes of just watching the snow and sipping their hot chocolate, Charlie stood up and set her mug on the table.

"Alright, nerds. Come on, it's tree decorating time," she said, pointing at the fake tree that her dad had set up for them earlier. "We have a lot of decorations, and then Sam has to go get the presents out of the car."

"Why do I have to do it?" Sam protested, and Charlie put her hands on her hips, giving him a look.

"Because you have freakishly long arms, and you can probably carry them all in one trip," she said.

Sam seemed to have no argument for this. Dean stood, setting his mug on the table as well and snorting at Sam.

"Come on, Sam. Let's decorate this tree," Dean said. Sam stood, muttering under his breath about the two of them colluding against him. Dean and Charlie both laughed, and Sam gave in and laughed with them after a few seconds.

Charlie pulled out a box of decorations, and they all went to town putting them on. The lights had already been put on, but they had a lot of bulbs and smaller, more random ornaments to add to it. After a good twenty five minutes of arguing with one another over what the best look was, they finally stopped moving the ornaments around and decided that it looked perfect. It was a little messy, but that just made it feel more real, in Dean's opinion. It felt loved, and he smiled as he looked at their work.

Sam was, in fact, sent out to the car to get the presents. He came back with all of them in one trip, as Charlie had predicted, and lightly dusted with snow. Setting the presents on the counter, Sam took his coat off and hung it up as Dean and Charlie grabbed the presents. They set them all under the tree, making sure they were organized in piles by who they were for.

By the time they were done, their hot chocolate had cooled down considerably. Dumping the cold dregs, Dean set his mug on the counter and looked at the now nearly inch-deep coating of snow on the porch. It was dusk out, getting darker by the minute, and the mountains were fading into the dying light.

Sam and Charlie decided that they wanted to make dinner, and Dean was shoved out of the kitchen to make room for their bickering and chaos. Settling onto the couch again, he watched them as they argued over who should get to do what with a fond smile on his face.

As he was sitting there, he felt his phone ring in his pocket. Fishing it out, he felt his smile drop as he read the caller ID. Cas. He had never stopped calling, and Dean had been avoiding him. He hadn't wanted to face it, to say what he had known he would have to say since he had found out.

This call, Dean decided, was the last call. Standing, he quickly shoved his feet in his shoes and opened the door to the porch, stepping out. The cold air hit him like a wall, and the snow fell onto him as he stepped up to the railing. He stared out at the view as he answered.

"Novak," he said, and he realized how tired he sounded.

"...Dean." Novak answered, clearly not expecting Dean to pick up. Dean sighed quietly into the phone, leaning his head back and letting the snowflakes fall on his face.

"What do you want?" He asked, that same tired tone sinking in. Dean couldn't even really bring himself to be angry anymore.

"I... I wanted to say that I'm sorry. I know that I already did, but I'll be saying it forever, and that will still never make up for what I did. But I also want you to know that I was never lying when I said I loved you. I still love you," Castiel finished.

There were tears falling down his face, the cold making the tracks down his cheek feel like wounds. Dean let out a shaky breath, closing his eyes briefly before answering.

"I know. And I love you. I don't know that I'll ever stop. But this isn't one of our movies, Cas. I can't just move past the way you lied to me and live happily ever after. No matter how much I love you, I can't. We can't always get happy endings, and love can't solve every problem. This... this has to be the end of us," he finished, letting the tears fall as he watched the snow do the same.

There was a moment of silence, and Dean knew without seeing him that Castiel was crying. It broke his heart, but he knew this was the only thing left for them to do.

"I know," Castiel answered, almost a whisper. "I know."

"Goodbye, Cas," Dean said, choking down a sob.

"Goodbye, Dean," Castiel whispered, and the line went dead.

Dean took a moment to himself, staring out into the distance and wiping his face of tears. Sometimes, he wished this was just one of his movies. Loving Cas would have saved him from missing Jess, and it would have all ended perfectly. But real life didn't quite work the same. Real life hurt, and he had been falling behind from it, trying to avoid moving forward without Jess. But he couldn't keep doing that.

Turning, he watched through the window as Sam and Charlie continued cooking, laughing and teasing each other. They were his family, and he loved them more than he thought should be possible. The ache in his chest eased a bit as he watched them, and a soft smile crept onto his face. Real life could hurt, but it came with real friends, and maybe that was enough, after all.

He opened the door and went inside, the snow falling silently behind him.