FBI (For Basic Idiots) [FemStiles&Derek]

Nanny Derek

“When is a door not a door?”
“When it’s a jar...”

The memory echoes quietly in the background of her mind as Stiles follows behind Scott and Derek, flanked by Logan as they all trudge through the heaps of dead leaves covering the forest ground. She glances around, taking in the familiar area – where many other of her nightmares have gone down – absentminded in her thoughts and memories, but keeping her eyes keen for any clues as they approach the murder scene.

The four of them slowly fan out around the woman’s lifeless and partially torn up body, and Stiles hears His voice like He’s whispering right in her ear as He stands beside her.

“So close... Missed you so much, my dear...”

Derek notices her stiffen, frowns slightly as he asks, “You OK?”

Stiles glances back up at him, aware of all three pairs of eyes on her now. She nods, slaps on her usual bright smile and tells him, “I’m good.”

Derek isn’t convinced, and neither is Logan, for that matter. However, sweet Scott is socially oblivious, as usual, and clearly misreads his best friend’s discomfort as he glances from her to the corpse and says, “If this was 10 years ago, you would have either barfed or fainted at the sight of blood, let alone... this.” He motions to the dead woman’s opened up chest, then grins proudly at his best friend as he tells her, “Being in the FBI has really toughened you up. I’m impressed, girl.”

Logan chuckles, while Stiles rolls her eyes along with Derek – though, he has to admit the Alpha is right (for a change.)

“So, what’re we thinking?” Scott chimes, glancing in between Stiles and Logan.

Logan gives her a nod before wondering off to check out the surrounding area.

“It could still just be some psychotic human. But just in case, let’s take a look and see.” Stiles explains as she plants her bag down, reaches into it for her rubber gloves and a small flashlight.

“Wouldn’t be surprising if it was supernatural, in this town.” Scott notes with a sarcastic tint to his tone, glares as he glances to Derek and says, “And just when Beacon Hills was going through one of those rare peaceful times.”

Stiles chuckles, shines the light into the open chest way, and takes a peek. “How long did the peace and quiet last this time?” She asks with mild interest as her eyes scan every inch of the literal heartless corpse.

“Almost a month. That’s gotta be a record, for sure, right?” Scott asks, glances between Stiles and Derek.

Derek shrugs, shoots the young Alpha a pointed look as says, “When you’re looking after thirteen supernatural kids, you start to lose all concept of time.”

Stiles chuckles at that, heart fluttering wildly when he shoots her that dazzling grin of his. “Mazel tov, by the way.” She can’t help chuckling again when he shakes his head in utter contempt, shoots her a plain withering glare to go with.

“Hey!” Scott hisses back at the older wolf, clearly offended as he tells him, “Malia and I help you plenty, so don’t even try to pretend you’re a poor single parent in all of this.”

Derek scoffs back, folds his arms over his chest – absolutely not just because he can predict Stiles’ gaze briefly flickering to his arms, like they usually do when he crosses them. He pretends not to notice, like he always does, and just like he pretends not to notice the flutter in her heart, instead, retorts with, “As you should. They’re your little pack of Rugrats. I’m just the nanny. And the cook. Oh, yeah, and the landlord... who lets them stay rent free.”

Stiles snorts, smirks at Derek as she slowly stands back up. “Nanny Derek. Oh, this is too much. I’m definitely writing that down in my diary.”

Derek lets out an annoyed breath, nostrils flaring and eyes narrowing – and heart skipping twice – as she simply grins back at him with that pretty pink bow mouth of hers.

Scott staves off the urge to let out a retching sound – because why can’t they just stop dancing around each other already? It’s driving him crazy! This must be how Stiles and Lydia felt when he and Kira were first getting together. Karma really is a massive bitch.

“So, what’s the verdict?” Derek asks, tilts his head as his motions towards the body.

Stiles tears her gaze away from those all too pretty blue-green eyes of his, forces herself to focus back on the corpse. “No lacerations, only the bruising around her chest, and her arteries are half yanked out, and most of her blood is on her and not splattered around everywhere. So, I’m guessing whatever it was literally punched their fist right into her chest plate before slowly ripping her heart out. There’s no signs of a struggle, so she was probably dead before she even knew what was happening.”

“At least there’s that.” Scott lets out a sigh, but doesn’t look any less guilty. He’s supposed to protect this town from shit like this.

Stiles shoots him a withering look, because she just knows what he’s thinking. “Scott, you can’t save everybody. Literally nobody can. I learned that the hard way doing this job. And you should’ve learned that by now, too.” She then shoots him a pointed look.

Derek knows that all too well as he silently agrees with her. His mother and Paige briefly pass through his mind, like they often do when he tries to think back on all the fond memories. With Laura gone, too, until Stiles annoyingly wormed her way into his heart without even realising it to this day, Derek really thought that all of the people he loved most in his life were gone forever, and that he couldn’t possibly love like that again. And until only a few years ago, Derek is actually finally glad that he was so very wrong.

Scott nods, grumbles out a defeated, but accepting, “Yeah, I know.”

“He lies... he’ll do anything for you... they both will... this is going to be fun...”

Stiles lets out a haggard breath, almost stumbles back to get away from the voice and almost falls on her ass until both Derek and Scott are standing either side of her, gently grasping at her upper arms. His voice felt so real, she swears she felt His breath ghosting the side of her face.

“Are you OK?” Scott asks, both voice and eyes filled with concern.

“She’s clearly not OK.” Derek snips, glares daggers at the idiot Alpha – how he even got to be Alpha, still amazes Derek on so many levels.

Scott glares back at him.

“No, I’m, uh...” Stiles trails off, more focused on scanning the trees for any (familiar) hidden figures.

Derek scoffs quietly. “You don’t have to tell us what’s going on, but don’t even bother trying to lie.” He then shoots her a slightly concerned look as he tells her, “You’re afraid. I can smell it.”

“Stop smelling me.” Stiles knows her response is pathetic when he smirks. She huffs, ushers herself out of both wolves hands as politely as she possibly can. “Look, I’ve just been having a few shitty flashbacks since I got back, OK? No big deal. Nothing I haven’t handled all my life anyway, so, I’m good. Or, I will be real soon.”

Wow, she thinks as she watches both their reactions, she’s getting pretty good at this lying-to-werewolves thing...