I Still Need You (Sometimes)

~15~

Everything hurt.

Chuuya could bearly move from his spot atop his bed. He reached up with his hand to wipe his face but even that small movement hurt. He couldn't even remember heading to bed so that must mean Dazai put him here. At least he had enough functioning braincells to put Chuuya on top of his bed instead of inside it, especially considering he's still wearing his dirty clothes.

Somehow, he willed himself out of the comforts of the sheets and out his bedroom door. He hadn't realized how early in the morning it was till now. It was only sunrise meaning the sky was painted with beautiful hues of purple and yellow. Chuuya would never normally wake at such early hours and not even he knew why he was currently awake. His body crying at the misuse after yesterday's mission was probably the culprit though.

It was also quiet, which was strange. He knew Dazai slept and woke up at obscene times, so you could imagine the shock Chuuya felt at seeing the brunet fast asleep on his couch.

Since they've known each other, Chuuya has only been shown this side of his partner a miniscule amount of times. The side of Dazai that even he could not control with a deceiving expression or tainted voice that intimidated most around him.

Chuuya slowly made his way to the other, trying his best not to wince at the pain. He knelt down next to the other, looking at every detail on his face that he feels he's not allowed to study during the day and listening to every breath he's thankful the others still taking.

Chuuya always thought of Dazai as a pretty decent looking guy. He could not deny the other was handsome, from their late night trips to the beach where the moon shone it's bluish rays on the others face, showcasing his magnificent facial structure, or the sparkle in his eye when he talks about something he enjoys, albeit normally suicide. He was gorgeous.

But Chuuya would never let the Dazai know his opinions on the other, besides, it's not like his looks even affected him in any way. Chuuya could just admit he was good looking, that's all.

Still, he reached forward brushing his hand through Dazai's hair without much thought while resting his head on the other hand. He stayed there looking at the other while thinking of the next few days.

This was going to be his last day at the port. It was also his last day to back out and stay loyal, leaving Dazai on his own. He agreed to the proposal on a whim while witnessing the soft and open kind of Dazai he longed to see more of but was it still a good choice? The fact that he's basically following Dazai around like a dog isn't helping make it easier to accept either.

He sighed to himself, retracted his hand and stood back up slowly in order to not cause more damage to his weakened body. Giving the other a once over quickly, he noticed Dazai looked more content and relaxed now compared to when Chuuya woke up but he chalked that up to the lighting difference due to the sun having raised higher now.

He made his way to the kitchen, grabbing a glass of water and chugging down like 3 Tylenol and running a hand down his face again. He walked to the balcony and looked over the city he's loved since he could remember. The people he tries to protect and the remnants of past battles. He could even see suribachi city from here.

He headed back inside and pulled a jacket over his head. He needed to relax, maybe think over his next steps and there was only one place he could do that.

The beach.

~~~~~

The ocean was calm. The waves moving at a slow, peaceful pace. Chuuya was sat at the end of a dock with his feet hanging off the edge, bearly touching the water while he sat staring at the great expansion of water. He hadn't been here long but the entire time he's been here, he's been contemplating his decision.