*forty-nine

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i've realized
my stomach churns until i'm inside out
how far i've come
my head ballooning till the room is filled
what more can i ruin
shaking? i put my work aside.
asking and asking
i never receive
what will i do when i give away my last piece
is it all for show?
can i recognize who looks back at me?
i don't deserve to trace the lines of who you are
when i fill the cracks with doubt and burden
let me slide away from your view
there is nothing for you here.
what is there in pursuit?
the thrill of the chase?
my mouth grows bitter and hunger entices me.
i am unable to sustain what i've cultivated
i dont know what to do.

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