the inevitable

*twenty

i'm stuck facing the ceiling
my fingers barely able to move
sinking lower and lower.
broken open like an egg yolk
oozing out
slowly, slowly
the words are dripping out of my mouth
my ears are ringing
over again and over again
there are glimpses of light
fractals shining all around me
just far enough to where i can't reach.
the sound is flashing and loud
like a notification that won't delete
over again and over again.
i can feel it coming back
slimy, sticky
there's no way i'll get away in time.
closer, closer now
what else could i be
other than where i stay?
where else could i go
when i haven't moved an inch?
i expect the success of others
but my fingers are stuck together
the yolk is starting to settle in my hair
please
let me close my eyes
i've been asleep for far too long