the inevitable

*twenty-two

am I alone in this?
what more do I have tell myself?
in order to stay together, whole, and stable.
I've wrapped myself up so tight,
I can barely breathe.
My thoughts, scattered
like loose change in the ground.
I can hear my feet beat upon the ground
each lunging step I take,
there's versions of me
in every corner of my head
reciting different goals, lists, expectations.
I'm split.
In all directions, but one.
something that keeps me stable, solid.
am I tying myself
to a foundation bound to break?
it's kept me awake this long,
what more can I ask for?
how have I managed to keep
my eyes from rolling out of their sockets?
my face from melting into a thick paste?
it's bleak.
without you.
am I alone in this?