you & me. legal. forever.

14. An Avenger & A Nobody

"Your silence is scaring the shit out of me, Zoe. Please say something." Bucky nervously pleaded while they drove home from brunch. He was holding her hand and trying not to freak out at the complete lack of noise or facial expressions coming from his best girl. "Usually you're yelling at me by now."

"Don't push your luck, James." Zoe stared blankly out the window. As she tried to maintain her composure, her grip on his hand got tighter. She was trying to process what had just happened. Not only did it sound like they pretty much had to get married in Wakanda, but it had also already became about everyone else. Not that her friends didn't have a valid point, that weddings were very much for the people in your lives as much (if not more) than they were for the actual couple, but things had already gotten out of hand. Wakanda? That's a little more than a destination wedding...

"Are you plotting my slow and painful death?" Bucky tried to joke. "Can I at least put in a request for my last meal?"

"Only if we don't have to go to Wakanda to get it." Zoe snapped, finally able to begin to voice her frustration. "Are you fucking serious about getting married in a remote foreign country? You do realize that not everyone we know and love is a fucking Avenger, right?"

"I know..." he squeezed her hand. "I'll talk to them, this is insane. I'm sorry I got carried away and got caught up in the excitement." He took a deep breath. "It's just such a cool idea, you know? It's so beautiful there, and the thought of making it official in the most amazing place on earth just sounded so perfect when they suggested it..." he was looking straight ahead, not only because he was driving, but because he didn't want to see what her face was doing at the moment. "I want something special and incredible for us, not because we're doing it for other people, but because we fucking deserve something good."

"I thought we already had something good." Zoe muttered. It wasn't that she was against doing something this crazy, it was more that she didn't want to feel like she owed anyone anything. Never mind the fact that she was already being left behind in her own wedding planning.

"Zoe." He sighed. "Yes, we have everything we need right here. You're absolutely right. I'm sorry, that's not what I meant."

"I know, love, I know." Now she was trying not to lose her cool. "You're excited. I get that, this is all new and there's a lot to get wrapped up in." She breathed deeply. "But I would like, no, I fucking demand some input into whatever WE decide to do. This is about both of us, not just you..." she took another deep breath. "Just because I've been married before and you're a goddamn super hero does not mean that I will be taking a back seat on this. We're a fucking team, James. No matter what anyone else thinks."

"Oh god, Zoe! That's not what I meant at all!" He kissed her hand as he found a safe place to pull the car over. "No! I'm sorry, shit...this is not about anything else but us. One hundred percent. No arguments here on that. That is not at all what I was trying to say. See? This is what I was afraid of when I asked in the first place! That I would say or do something stupid and wrong to upset you..." He ran his hands over his face anxiously. "This is exactly what I didn't want. All I want is you and me, legal, forever. That's all."

"You're not doing anything wrong, James. That's not what this is about." She sighed, hating to see him stress about something so trivial when he has literally helped save the world. "Please do not think that I am upset about us. That's not what is bothering me, know that. Please please please know that you asking me to marry you was one of the most unexpected and amazing things that will ever happen to me. Know this. That you are all I want, too, okay? It's just the getting there..." she bit her lip to try not to cry. "I don't need anything big and fancy and crazy, all I need is you, okay? Please know that."

"That's exactly what I'm trying to say." He breathed in relief. "Thank you for being on the same page. I guess I just got excited."

"And that is so fucking sweet to see, you have no idea." she tried to smile at him. "Please do not let me put any dampers on your excitement about this, okay? Just try to remember that I'm here, too. This is about both of us. We really need to talk about these things together before we go letting the fucking Wakandan royal family plan our wedding..."

"They're just excited for us, too, Zoe." He leaned in and kissed her forehead. "I'm sorry that you aren't as comfortable with them and their insane hospitality, but they're family, too. You've said it yourself, I don't have much family, so I can't afford to piss them off or alienate anyone because we are too shy or proud to accept something like this."

"That may be true, but do you have any idea how it feels on my end?" she countered. "Sure, they're family to you, and some of them have become dear friends to me, but I can barely handle you throwing me a fucking birthday party, James! This is so much bigger than that. It feels like way too much, it's something we could never afford or repay, no matter what they say to the contrary. And before you start, it is, okay? Just getting everyone we love there, never mind any sort of party, is way beyond either of our means. Weddings are not cheap no matter what, but I refuse to bankrupt us to put on a show. And I refuse to accept any fucking charity from the royals or Pepper or anyone else, either. It's too much and even you cannot deny that."

"I get that, really, I do, but there is no way that we are doing anything less than something special. For us. Because I love you and you love me and we want to do this for us. If you think going to city hall is enough, fine, but I don't think you're being totally honest with me here." He stated. "Wakanda is definitely a bit much, I'll give you that, but if you can look me in the eye right now and tell me that the idea isn't at least worth further discussion, I'll drop it right now, okay?"

"It's not that it isn't a beautiful pipe dream, but that's exactly what it is, James, a dream. A fucking fantasy." she was really trying not to cry now as she looked into his eyes.

"The fact that I'm here right now talking to you about this is more than enough for me. And before you cut me off, just fucking listen to me for a second. You and me make sense, right here, in our own little world. When we open ourselves up to public scrutiny by having some crazy lavish affair, it no longer makes sense. It's no longer ours. It's no longer about two people who found each other, it becomes about a mother fucking Avenger and a nobody." she couldn't look at him any longer, as the traitorous tears started to fall.

"I can't do that, I'm sorry. If you don't want to do this because I can't be 'that bride', I completely understand. This obviously won't be the white fucking wedding you probably dreamed about when you were trying not to shoot your own dick off on the battlefield." she tried to rally with a joke. "Please try and understand. I love you and I want this, so much, but I can't..."

"No, don't you dare say that!" He cut her off and wiped her cheeks with his hand. "First of all, I never dreamed about my wedding, we kinda didn't do that, we left it to the women and just showed up in my day. Plus, that shit was way too far away in some distant future, with Hedy Lamarr or Vivien Leigh, maybe one of Steve's USO tour gals?" he tried to get her to smile.

"Second, I'm hardly one for traditional anything anymore, fucking look at me..." he saluted with his vibranium hand. "Third, we obviously have a lot to talk about, we don't have to make any decisions now. We have all the time in the world." He pulled her into his arms and leaned his head on top of hers. "All that matters is that we're together, got it?" He kissed her hair. "And maybe we get to ride a trained rhinoceros on the way to the hall of records to file a simple marriage license, while we're there on a visit or something..."

"Trained rhinoceros?" she muttered into his shoulder. "They ride fucking rhinos?"

"Usually only in battle, but yeah, I bet Okoye would make an exception for us..." he smirked into her hair. "Also, no more of this shit about being a nobody. I thought we were past this?"

"Me too." Zoe sighed and looked up at him. "Maybe I should have a little sit down with Pepper about how to navigate this. I mean, it's one thing to be the side piece of an Avenger, but the wife?.." she finally laughed a little.

"Side piece?" he scoffed. "Doesn't that imply that I am balancing more than one all-consuming relationship?"

"Shut up, Barnes." she laughed harder. "We all know who your first loves are...kicking ass and Steve mother fucking Rogers. How can I compete with that?"

"Ha! But at least my Glock never asks why I'm late for dinner..." he laughed. "I love you so much, Zoe. Thank you for talking about this. It's not going to be easy, but we'll figure it out."

"I love you too, tough guy." she smiled at him. "Yes, we will certainly figure this out, we always do. It's kind of our thing, right?"

"Damn right." he grinned. "Now let's get home and embarrass Sam some more in front of Wanda."

"I love the way you think, James." she kissed him deeply and slid back over into her seat as he started the car. "Thank you for being so fucking great. I love you."