The Girl Who Writes On Maple Leaves

The confession

POV : Naeesah Khan

July 2020

I had like 1  hour to get ready  and the only positive thing is that my hair could stay like they are cause i wear hijab so it's not that complicated , but i needed a shower , cause i was melting. In italy at this time of the years is like a little hell and since i wear hijab , and i have to respect the dress code , is more complicated. That is why i love winter and autumn more. I am more a mountain girl since i am a hijabi.

It's been a year since I had the freedom to go out in peace to have a drink with my bestie. That years is a year I must forget , and I was still shaking for how psycologically abused I am.

Bianca , my best friend , as soon I left that psycho  she literally forced me to go out with her cause she missed me and I missed her too , so much. I finished to have a shower, even in summer I have to use hot water. I cleaned the mirror and saw that reflex , the woman that gone through a lot and i touched the dark circles under my eyes delve my all that tears , the scars on my neck when he tried to strangle me that day I tried to go to my last exam , that red line that was the drop of water that ended everything , that gave me the courage to stop.

I was looking at me still , tired , but I survived , and promised I will keep his secret only to cut all the connections with him. 

I dried up my long dark brown hair and tied them up in a chignon and start to make up. I took an angle brush and tried to do a graphic eyeliner on my dark brown eyes , they were different , asymmetrycal , that is why I used to do a graphic eyeliner to exalt this fragment of my identity. Brushed my long lashes with blue mascara. Painted my dark pink lips with a blight lipstick and to finish I blended liquid blush on my chubby  cheecks. 

Even if my body is slim with some curves , i don't like to put clothes that will evidence my body shape , so I opted for a pair of large jeans a high neck body suite with a yellow shirt with an electric blue hijab that I will wear as a turban due that my neck is covered so is not a problem.

" Darling , are you ready yet?" my mum said after knocking the door. She was always worried after all that happened that she kept her eyes on me 24/7 , she even sleeps with me. 

"Yes, maa" and I opened the door and found her chubby face looking at me smiling. Nashreen is her name that means rose in arabic and it reflects what she is a pure rose with lifetime thorns that helped her to move on after that my father left her and the reason is still unknown , even if i know there is my sister's hand , that slut since I we had that fight she is making our father's life miserable.

"I will eat out today, mum, is that ok for you?" ,

"Sure , my baby girl , you need to go out a bit , just tell Bee to don't run with the car". She calls Bianca Bee like I do.

"What you will eat today ?" ,

"I will make a fruit salad , cause is too hot I don't have the courage to cook, but if someone tomorrow will do my favourite pasta with pesto , like only that person know how to do , I will eat two plates". I laughed cause i know she loves when I cook , she always said that my husband will be so lucky. 

My phone start ringing and her face got serious cause she thought it was him , but we both breathed when i shaw her who it was. Tears in my eyes. 

My boy best friend with who i didn't talk since a year due my ex. Even i know him since last year i considered him my best friend cause he was the boy with who I talked the most.

It's been a year since i spoke to him for the last time. After that huge fight i was like missing him Every time i saw someone post his picture. He was my best friend and he tried to save me, but too dumb to listen to him.